The centipede always waited until I was home alone to show itself. One night I was sitting on my yoga mat on the basement floor and had a thought: What if that centipede is here somewhere? Seconds later it appeared, right on cue.
I’m getting right to the point; no beating around the bush (pun intended). The world needs safewords in everyday situations—now more than ever. To be clear, I’m brand spanking new to the whole concept of safewords, but I know there’s no wading in gently, and by gently, I mean very painfully.
Don’t wait until the last minute to plan your meal, from menus to which flavor of pain you are in the mood for this year. In-laws or immediate family? Siblings or cousins? Neighbors or workmates? Ham, or turducken (a turkey, stuffed with a duck, that’s been stuffed with a chicken.)
Most children arrive with some dance and musical training and even some experience in acting, but very few show up with comedic skills. So, it helps to have a guiding hand from experienced comics who understand qualities like timing and writing and re-writing comedy material.
There, in the shadows of a building that dated back to the Soviet occupation, by the look of it, she smoked as I sipped beer. But chatting about our day of exploring the city, we weren’t expecting the slice of Budapest life that was about to unfold.
And we would have missed it completely if our accommodation plans had worked out as intended.
I was hopelessly naive about unemployment but confident that I would use the time off for worthwhile activities like meditating and checking items off my whiteboard list. Several months later I had still not written the great American novel, given a Ted talk, or become a beekeeping hobbyist.
This morning, I got out of bed. To make matters worse, I decided to bake something, at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m. I hate baking for one reason: I don’t like to measure. I’ll make a sauce, throw together a stew or soup, all without benefit of measuring a single thing.
We recently got a new favorite toy in our household. I know that some families get jet skis, or multi-room tents, but we got a recliner. Yes, we’re an active, healthy family, but like the Most Interesting Man in the World says, “I don’t always lie around, but when I do, it’s in a vegetative state.”
Of course anyone I mentioned this loss to looked at me a bit incredulously and said, “You know you can have all that info online. Why use an address book?” I knew I was sounding like a horse and buggy owner complaining about the exhaust of the new motorized vehicles.
When someone says something you don’t understand, don’t be afraid to say so and to ask for clarification. Otherwise, you just might end up eating orange sandwiches … with a prophet!