Stress affects us in different ways. We all experience it in different quantities and at various stages of life. I look at my daughter in her 20s trying to manage the weight of education, work experience, and be social and wonder how she does it all. Stress as a young person is expected as you try to make your way in the world. But for an over 60-year-old, I thought this would be the time to live freely in relaxation and bliss.
I am way beyond my mid-life crisis years (one caravan, 5 boyfriends and a minibar in the garden later), but stress seems to creep into my life no matter how hard I try. Is it the hormones? Am I just a natural pessimist born to attract stressful life experiences? I think both play a part, but ultimately the true challenge is how to overcome the stress. In saying this, I make it sound like stress can be defeated. Stress will always be with us, but moving through rumination and finding ways to ground ourselves is what reminds us stress is just a coping mechanism. You will be okay no matter what pressure you face.
Here are just a few consistent stressors in my life, and things I’m seeing more and more of within online conversations:
Stress moves through time
I’ve worked for the best part of the last 40 years in service of the NHS. Was there a good work-life balance? At the time it didn’t feel like it, but I somehow managed to get married, have four babies and make a thousand more memories outside of the workplace. Now I work part-time just to tick over, yet I feel the same level of stress as someone who works full time.
My current colleagues are in the place I was 40 years ago (trying to start a family), except the cost of living is at its highest, households are earning less and people don’t have the money to buy homes. Perhaps I feel a sense of guilt that I had better means to get by and start a family in my day. My partner at the time was a struggling photographer, so I was the primary earner. I still got by, I moved through the stress, and sometimes I think back to those really difficult times when I think I’ve got it bad now. Yet, minor inconveniences can get me down, and only when I take myself out of a situation and gain a clearer head do I realise how worked up I get over nothing!
Financial stress
Earning money is hard, and in today’s economy, it’s even harder to save. I am lucky enough to have built up a safe investment portfolio and retirement fund. But the cost of everything has increased exponentially. I worry not only about my own ability to stretch the funds but also about supporting my children through their financial stressors. Plus, the constant marketing campaigns pushed into our phone screens make us feel like daily spending is nominal.
Social media
The irony in social media is how unsociable it is. We all rely on these social platforms to keep up with others’ lives. What used to be a catch-up over a cup of tea is now coming across an update on Facebook. We are all so disconnected, and with this, comes the inevitable comparisons, and feeling of ‘lack’. Just because Suzanne from my yoga class has bought a new home and is travelling the world, posting about her adventures shouldn’t take away from my life and achievements. However, in times of doubt, it does. The stress of needing to feel adequate to others online is draining. Truthfully, I would quit social media now if I could, but there are people I want to keep in touch with, so the cycle continues.
Stress affected my health
It snuck up on me, as these things do. Poor sleep, stiff joints, nagging headaches, the constant tiredness that you can’t explain away with “just getting older.” My blood pressure crept up. I lost patience with silly things that wouldn’t normally bother me. When you let stress rule the body, it will take whatever space it’s given. I knew if I didn’t start acting differently, no pill or pep talk was going to fix it for me.
How I’m fighting the battle:
I walk everywhere
It’s not just about the exercise, it’s about feeling the fresh air, seeing real faces, hearing real sounds. It pulls me back to now.
Pilates to make me feel young again
I need flexibility more than ever, and there’s something satisfying about holding a plank longer than someone half my age. It reminds me that my body is still capable.
Swimming for the joints
There’s a peace that comes with floating, and knowing that while gravity does its worst, I can still move without pain.
Spending time gardening
Growing something! Even if it’s just a sad-looking tomato plant it grounds me. Literally. Soil under the nails is strangely healing.
Reducing screen time
It’s a work in progress. I’m trying to replace scrolling with something — anything — that actually fills me up rather than drains me.
Reading — use it or lose it
Novels, history books, gardening guides, it doesn’t matter. If I’m not using my brain, I feel it getting rusty. Plus, there’s a comfort in being pulled into someone else’s world for a while. I just had conservatory insulation, so I spend hours in my cosy backroom falling into stories. Any stress of the day disperses when I’m immersed into a book.
Setting boundaries
Learning to say “no” without guilt is a skill I wish I’d picked up decades ago. Now, I protect my time and energy like a dragon guard’s treasure.
Stress isn’t going away, not for me, not for anyone. But learning how to live alongside it, how to loosen its grip when it gets too tight, is the best I can do. And honestly, at 60, I’m learning that’s enough.
Photo Credit
Photo is from Pexels
Guest Author Bio
Cathy Fletcher
Cathy Fletcher is a retired physiotherapist based in Manchester, UK, with a rich 40-year career in the NHS. After navigating the challenges of divorce and retirement, Cathy discovered a new purpose: empowering individuals over 50 to live their best lives and uncover new passions. Her personal journey through these significant life changes has fuelled her commitment to sharing insights and experiences with others in similar stages.
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