I discovered that there were painful periods of time while I was growing up that I had blocked out, but which were still impacting me strongly.
Minute To Freedom
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
I decided in my early ‘20s the one thing I wanted most in life was not to be like my Dad. Then I realized I had become just like him.
When I was successful as a child, I got belittled or put down, and as an adult tended to easily become discouraged and give up on projects.
Being extraordinarily analytical, I ruminated over my problems for long periods, until confronted by a good friend who wouldn’t support that behavior.
Since everything was unpredictable when I was growing up, I had poor benchmarks for knowing what normal households looked like.
I used to think in absolutes a lot – I’m right, you’re wrong – and if you disagreed, I would defend my position without compromise.
As a child, if I admitted to anything it could lead to painful consequences, so I learned to lie if confronted, which I had to overcome as an adult.
I had a friend who would impose on me to help him with his house projects, and I had to finally realize he was taking advantage of me, and stop doing it.
Today let’s talk about finishing things. Has it ever felt like you struggled to finish things – an assignment at work, a fixit project at home?
I learned as a child not to talk about what happened inside my household, and had to learn to break that cycle as an adult.