Today let’s talk about undeserved loyalty.
Have you ever found yourself defending someone who is taking advantage of you?
I had a friend who would call me every time he needed to fix his house, or do gardening work, and I would go help him, even cancelling my plans in order to be available. He wasn’t being very good to me, but I would write it off to him being such a successful and busy person. If he was that successful, why not hire a gardening service? I finally had to see that I was being loyal when the loyalty was undeserved. He never seemed to be around when I needed help, so it wasn’t a reciprocal situation – just me allowing myself to be used. It was a measure of loving myself in a new way when I said no to him and decided my time was worth more than that.
Have you ever been loyal to someone who took advantage of you?
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This is an interesting topic. I struggle with this all the time with family. You see, friends we choose and we can unchoose when they use us. Family is a different story. Family is where undue loyalty is hard to let go of.
Same here, Lisa, I struggle with the family loyalty too! With friends, I can just choose a different path – not to let them use me, and walk away if necessary. Family, I so agree, is a very different story. The loyalty there is a terrifically strong bond, and deciding it’s time to detach from a family member – that’s a tough task. I’ve had to do it before for a while to establish some new boundaries, and of course, it wasn’t well received. Not sure it would ever be well received by family.