And so, she is me. Future me, or future Self, as some call it, guiding me on my path to understanding.
Some of the things she tells me are things I would rather not hear. This is where it gets complicated. The human design, which encompasses ego, desire, need for control, need for that which doesn’t need us, or that which we do not want, often seeks the easy way out, not the path which serves Highest Outcome.
Whatever causes less pain is where we will usually find our consciousness.
So important: In order to truly know what path will ultimately cause less pain, we must see it all. We must have the broadest vision to see. Good and bad. Lies and truth. We cannot limit ourselves to just that which we think we know, or even wish to know. We must not hit the ‘easy’ button. There is no magic pill. The complexity of this requires more than what the simple algorithm of immediate gratification offers.
‘So, you’re woke af. Time to jump in. Are you well? Good. Do you see? Good. Look up. Do you see that the mountain you have just climbed is simply the base for the next one?’
Three dimensional eyes are open. I see what this is. I close them in horror and for protection from the truth. Clearer, broader visions come. I want to run both away and into it.
The spin of my trappings decide for me. They chase me and so I run. Like a surge of electricity, making my heart race and my breathing difficult to control. I could easily panic or focus on the breath. I start to feel dizzy and sick. Breathe in. Breathe out. Do not hold. There is nothing to hold, and that is fine. You chose this. To discover the truth. Run if you want, just make sure you’re running in the best direction.
And here it comes. The madness behind and inside the seeker.
You’re so ridiculous! Just give up! You will never know! Who are you to think you are special! You’re just a speck! You’re too old to get it! You’re too young to get it! You’re not enough! You’ve spent so much time surviving, so just be happy with that. You ingrate! Survive! Come on! Come up for air! Give up! Accept it!
It is what it is. Give up. That’s what bothers me about that expression. It says, in some sense, to accept what is, and give in.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
I hear both the trappings of my parts and the release of my Whole in her voice now. The honourable voice of my future Self presiding.
‘Don’t be fooled by what seems to be. Don’t be blinded by your need to know … do not feed the feeling of envy for the ‘if only ifs’ … if only this, if only that … listen with open eyes and see with open ears to these fractured voices and parts of you. Let your dear breathing vessel be engulfed by the truth.’
And so I let it all in. Might as well. Might is well. I am woke af, after all, right? I am breathing steadily running but entirely still at the same time. I recognize this. So familiar. Not an escape but a release. I am alive. Floating in a multidimensional space, beyond the x, z, and why.
Photo is pixabay creative commons