Over heard at an AA meeting; Look for something that you don’t like and then don’t do it.
“…Still I search for something I can’t see
They don’t have what I need at the A&P…”
Some days I stumble over how I used to be flashy and useless. And then there are days when there are rainbows in the spray of surf that rolls in from the South China Sea. It feels exciting and scary as if starting out for the first time; maybe love is waiting in the wind. Maybe not. “Dawn’s early light” sculpts the rainbows into carriages overflowing with childhood’s dreams, drifting away to forever, perhaps to be found again.
Over heard at another AA meeting; I had an abortion in Juarez – I don’t want to die.
The short answer to your question about what happened in those last years on the drug run is a Dylan quote: “I bargained for salvation and she gave a lethal dose.” I thought if I got married and lived on an island in the Gulf she could save my life. It might have worked but for the cocaine in the city during the week. She was “steamy” and not okay with her own place in the world. I didn’t see that, on account of I wasn’t lookin’. When we burned it to the ground I was devastated and relieved at the same time, the release from fantasy set me free to continue down the lost highway in “full tilt dirty boogie” mode. Three years later I finally ran out of room and began the journey home.
More recently, I remembered this one from many years ago.
“Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, “Could you help me out
I got some friends down the way”
The man says, “Get out of here
I’ll tear you limb from limb”
I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”
He said, “You’re not Him.”
Photo by Michael Lebowitz – All rights reserved.