Guys from Generation X may remember calling a gal on the phone after initially meeting, yet today, texting is much more frequent and likely preferred, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, it’s important for guys to understand the norms, do’s, and don’ts aligned with texting etiquette.
More Funny and Less Naggy
No one likes a nag and it is easier to be perceived as one via texts without a de-codable tone or facial expression to go along with the message. Keep texts filled with banter, and if you need to be more serious or concerned, then choose your words wisely. Girls probably don’t want a nagging boyfriend complaining about the infrequency of calls or asking about where they have been. If you need to get something across, try being more funny and less naggy.
Those who show interest are rewarded with reciprocated interest. Try to keep the conversation even by asking questions about her while not being too selfish, only talking about yourself. Don’t dominate texts with your concerns or statements. Try to consider the interest of the other person.
Leave Some Topics for Face-to-Face Conversation?
Something like, “What’s wrong?” or “Why have you seemed so distant lately?” is not really appropriate for a text. Such is better left for a face-to-face conversation paired with other cues such as tone of voice and facial expression. As discussed, it is difficult to fully understand some information via texts. Leave some questions, concerns, and conversations for a different time when you can meet in person.
Keep a Good Balance of Time
You don’t want to inundate her with information and a barrage of questions in real time yet you don’t want to try to ‘play it cool’ by purposely waiting to reply back to her. Maintain a good balance regarding the timing of back-and-forth texts. If you take too long to respond, you may come across as uninterested rather than being successful in making her want you more.
In keeping with being funny, use visual cues whenever it makes sense. Like, if you’re telling her that you’re happy, sad, or forgiving, you can couple the sentiment with an associated cat picture. The Internet is flooded with cat pictures, it wouldn’t take much effort to Google “grumpy cat” and find a number of usable pics.
Boring Speech is Bad But Senseless Texts Are Worse
In person, if moments of silence pass, you may awkwardly attempt to fill time with boring speech or useless information yet such is not necessary when texting. Consider the ‘who cares’ factor regarding offered information. Texts should be punchy and effective; there’s no need for fillers.
Don’t Forget to Be Empathetic
Showing sympathy means you can relate to another’s situation but being empathetic is theoretically placing yourself in their emotional shoes. Don’t forget to be empathetic when waiting for a response or accepting one. For example, when asking someone to meet up and getting a negative response, don’t automatically assume that this is their beacon of dismissal. You may have asked them after they already made plans and feel they don’t want to bore you with the details. Also, if you are expecting a long reply yet only get a short, curt response, they may be driving or busy with another person. Don’t make assumptions or focus on your expectations regarding their responses.
Be a Potential Partner Rather Than a Pen Pal
Yes, modern dating involves texting. However, dating is still dating; the eventual end goal is to meet in person and develop a relationship. She used Hookup Tonight or another social platform to meet a mate, so keep this in mind when initially texting. Once you start texting, gauge the frequency to get a feel as to whether they are ‘feeling your vibe’ and potentially interested in meeting in person. Then, don’t wait too long to ask them to meet. Otherwise, you may seem too shy or not confident enough, as if you just want to be a text buddy rather than a potential boyfriend.
Take the Lead
Sure, plenty of today’s women are assertive, independent, and career-minded but that doesn’t mean that you should simply expect them to be ‘the guy’ in the relationship. Try to understand who she is as a person, and what your roles are with one another without becoming somebody else in a romantic situation. She will provide more than enough clues as to whether she’s interested, such as texting you back frequently. Decisiveness can be effective in selecting a restaurant, but equally, her opinion is as valid as yours.
Photo by Phil Campbell on Flickr – Some Rights Reserved
Guest Author Bio
Madison Ramos is an American Internet entrepreneur best known for creating Absolute Hookup, a dating network for smartphones. Madison has a passion for great design and user experience that empowers people to experience rich digital content with ease. In his free time, Madison enjoys running, hiking, and BBQing with friends and family.