Musings About Ineffective Parenting Advice

A month into this crazy world of parenthood and I have finally taken a shower! Okay, I’m sort of kidding. I have bathed a few times a week but this morning I took a long and relaxing shower and took care of all that I had forgotten to pay attention to…. um hmmm counting down the days.

Being a parent is a whirl wind of Eating, Sleeping and Pooping — not by the parent of course. I’ve had had some pretty decent poops but Eating and Sleeping are long lost luxuries that I wish I would have taken more advantage of way back when, when life made a little more sense. The three big daily life events for me are Stressing, Worrying and Researching.

Google “Why isn’t my 4 week old sleeping?”

Google “Why does breastfeeding hurt so *#@ much?”

Google “How early can I start baby sign-language?”

Cragislist “Baby Slings, Swings and Rockers – Not sold by a sociopath”

Then of course copious amounts of research on exclusively pumping, expressing milk, milk production, increasing milk production, what effects breast milk, how to go back to breastfeeding, how to teach a baby to latch, lactation consultant prices, nipple pain, plugged ducts — yeah, I have been a tad stressed about feeding my child.

There is a huge learning curve in becoming a new parent. I want to share with you a few things I was told while pregnant that have turned out to be completely wrong for me and my little man.

Induction Won’t Harm Your Baby

False. So Stinking False. Ok, so Kai is fine (for now) but almost every risk that comes with inducing labor happened with us. Premature Birth, Low Heart Rate, Respiratory Problems, Cardiovascular Defects, Infection, Eating Problems, Extended Stay In The NICU…All of this happened in just one week. Who knows what else could be going on. Not to mention labor is more painful and much longer. — If anyone wants the birth story I will make a post about it — but until then I won’t bore anyone with the details!

You’ll Only Have To Use The Nipple Shield While He’s So Little

Lies. I was told just yesterday by the lactation consultant that I will most likely be using this nipple shield for the entirety of my breastfeeding adventure. Although I am still hoping and trying to prove this one wrong.

You Have To Give Him Formula To Go Home

Sometimes I think nurses and doctors say things that might make their lives a little more convenient. Kai had to eat 30 ml of formula to leave the NICU. It took 3 days – this was unrealistic considering for the first few days babies live off of colostrum or nothing at all — some mothers in the developing world believe colostrum can harm the baby and is “dirty” and “bad.” And because of this goal they placed on him there was not much emphasis placed on breastfeeding which led to the last month of me going insane trying to fix it.

Breastfeeding Is The Most Natural And Wonderful Thing You Will Ever Do

Hard, so hard. Takes so much time and practice for some – me. I am not sure I have ever researched and tried so hard to make something work. Finally, we got it! Cheers to me and baby! Sweet stress relief to not feel like a failure (yes I know I wouldn’t have been a failure but that is how I was feeling ) I kept telling Brett “I feel like I can’t perform!” Thinking it would help him understand… but he couldn’t.

A Newborn Must Eat Every 2.5 Hours

Sweet Sweet Luck for us!!! Tried every 2.5-3 hours and had the hardest time keeping this little noob awake. Switched to 4 hours and we are all much much happier!! Now 4 weeks later we have an amazing schedule and little Kai is eating, growing and sleeping like a champ!

You Need Help In The Beginning

This is a half truth. I was glad to have Brett’s Mom here, then his whole family, then my Dad, then my Mom, then my Dad’s whole family, then will go home to our WHOLE family. It is nice to have them hold the sweet happy baby — but then the fussy baby comes out when his schedule is messed up and he gets spoiled by being able to fall asleep in someones arms with sweet kisses every few minutes. — So to keep the baby happy I will have to keep this schedule up when I come home – Family be forewarned … Attachment style parents are rolling over right now.

Pumping Will Give You As Much Milk As You Need

Read this a million times over. I was having such a hard time breastfeeding I tried to switch to exclusively pumping. I was making just enough to feed Kai. Now that we are breastfeeding exclusively I am making more and more milk everyday! Even have some in the freezer. Nice

Sleep When The Baby Sleeps

Not possible. I feel ridiculous sleeping that much with so many things to do. And I need to feel like a human with other success stories than I finally figured out how to get rid of a plugged duct. Fun Fact —> massaging the breast with a vibrator (umm toothbrush…) is like magic and immediate gush of a relieved duct… just in case you were wondering 🙂

Photo Credits

First posted at mightseemcrazy.wordpress.com

Guest Author Bio

Brittany Werkheiser
I am a first time parent to a crazy little boy who has changed my whole world completely. Not only in the sweet ways but he literally changed my life path. My husband and I have been serving the last two years as Peace Corps volunteers in Kenya. We were loving life as Public Health Advisers and really trying to impact some very remote villages in the Central Province. All of a sudden we found ourselves pregnant and were immediately sent back to the United States. Now, I’m navigating this new world of parenthood and attempting to go back to school for nursing while still working in the non-profit sector by coordinating international trips to Kenya, Haiti, Rwanda and Ghana. I fail to take small steps in life and then write about how much of a bad idea that was in my blog! Enjoy!