Musicians Are Not Sports Heroes

Some “musicians” are upset by the fact that Bruno Mars was not paid to play at the Super Bowl half time show.

I think musicians should pay to play because they just do it to be noticed anyway. Most of them are just unemployable narcissists who are bad at sports. As for football players, well they obviously have real talent and so should in my opinion be paid much more. They are grossly underpaid and under appreciated for the work they do in keeping us all entertained while giving our lives real meaning.

In fact, I think musicians should get together and donate their time and do regular fund-raising concerts to support football and other pro sports, like Hockey, Basketball, Olympic Skating, Baseball, Tennis, Soccer and even Ping Pong and Volleyball. I mean, not just anyone can hit a ball or be a line defenseman or throw a ball or kick a ball or jump while on slippery ice; these are abilities that require real talent and God-given gifts. Not only do these sports professionals have excellent skills but they also keep TV alive and where would we be without that, like totally bored, that’s what!

Any idiot can make up jazz, direct an orchestra or write music and sing dumb songs. We need to start really appreciating pro sports athletes instead of complaining about not getting paid for something anyone could do. We all know that musicians are hugely overpaid and they don’t do anything that is all that interesting. Maybe they can strum some chords but can they jump up high or throw something really far or run really fast? Of course not, that is why they are musicians, and most of them can’t even dance, at least Justin Beaver and Miley Circus can dance.

These “musicians” should be happy to be recognized at all by our heroes in pro sports who can do all the things that truly contribute to our culture and our own personal lives. These men (and women) inspire each of us to do better and try harder and eat better. Art and music are just stupid by comparison to pro sports, musicians should quit complaining and be glad when our sports heroes out of the kindness of their hearts invite them to anything. Seriously, these musicians obviously need exposure or no one would even know who they are, and what better way to get that exposure than to be associated with something that people actually like.

So you decided to play guitar and write music because you got your ass kicked in sports – you are a pansy, that’s fine, but don’t take it out on sports. No one promised you a job when you went out and spent all your money on guitars and voice lessons and doobies. It’s a free country and you can do what you want but don’t expect to get paid like you have a job just because someone in your family was being nice and downloaded one of your “songs”.

If our sports heroes wanted to be musicians they could – there are many sports pros who have crossed over to great careers in music and art – none come to mind at the moment – but obviously they could if they wanted to because they are incredibly smart AND super talented and music is easy. It goes without saying that those in pro sports are just better human beings, period. Instead of whining about how you are not making any money why not just be thankful that you get a chance to play your songs in front of an audience even if it’s not “your” audience.

If you want your music to be heard why not write a new theme for Hockey Night in Canada or get Payton Manning to sing one of your songs. In the meantime keep practicing your chords because one day you might get to play during half time and when you do you can thank sports fans.

Photo Credits

Bruno Mars – Wikipedia Creative Commons

Jumping Musician – Microsoft Office Clipart Collection

Guest Author Bio

Lloyd English
Lloyd English is an overpaid professional musician living on Saltspring Island in BC. He continues to practice his chords and songs in the hope that one day he might also be invited to play a half time show. His dream is to play at the Ice Capades. He currently runs his own music school and recording studio and is the co-founder of My Guitar Pal Online.

Blog / Website: My Guitar Pal

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