This is a short story about me and my wolf (Lupey) with whom I lived for most of the years of his life. We lived together in England, New York, Oregon and Nova Scotia. He was the joy of my life. My essay is about trust, human understanding when we try to cross species, and the limits of this understanding.
Mutual trust was at the heart of our connection. It began early, on that very first day when I allowed Lupey to come up onto my bed. His small snout shoved under the pillow, and he slept. The next day he followed me both inside our rented house and in the back garden. He would run as fast as he could with those then stubbly legs between me and one of my housemates, responding to our alternating calls. Soon Lupey and I took walks together, attached to one another by a small string around his muscular neck. That took a while. At first he pulled, then growled. But soon he would willingly place his head into the string’s noose, realizing in some wolf way that we were about to share another adventure. To the garden, then to the animal behavior lab a short drive away, then back into my van, arriving home for a snack. It was special.
Words like trust and heart in this context are difficult to define precisely. It was a willingness to respond to each other’s ways, as strange as they might first seem as we crossed our individual species differences. It was a confidence that no matter what, we had developed a bond. Many had questioned whether this would be possible. Whatever doubts I had I tried to block from my mind. Whatever doubts Lupey may have had, if any, I will never know. We became partners in a life long adventure together.
By any reasonable measures wolves are highly intelligent animals, including their ability to connect with one another in deep social bonds. Their hunting skills have long fascinated those who have observed them, each animal serving as an important component of the overall pack in pursuit of prey. Wolves also spend many hours in play and mutual care. Lupey exhibited his own social skills and willingness to form a bond with this foreign species, me.
Again we have to be careful of words like intelligence. Each animal has its own skills and limitations. But Lupey exhibited many traits that we would call intelligent if human. He had other skills that gave him a certain genius that I will never attain.
I felt that Lupey could read my gestures as documented by his responses to them. I also felt I could read his gestures. Here “reading” is something that is difficult to put into concrete words, but mutual responsiveness cannot be questioned. Within this conversation trust builds, bonds strengthen. In some deep but difficult to define sense I felt Lupey and I understood each other. Understanding is one of the obvious roots of trust.
It was not so much the words I used, but Lupey’s attention to my tone of voice and my gestures. He would peer into my face with those intensely staring eyes, as if to pick up what I suspect were often subtle cues and clues. Then he would calmly turn away and go about his business. That was his streak of independence, always tempered by sensitivity to the social relationship we had established. That was trust.
As time went on Lupey became ever more adept at anticipating my actions. I am not certain what cues I gave at times, perhaps just a change in mannerisms that I was not myself aware of. These perhaps sound as remarkable events, but then we must always remember the subtleties by which wolves can read other pack members. Lupey and I had a small nuclear pack of two. It worked.
As I mention elsewhere I believe wolves also have a strong sensitivity to what in human terms we might call betrayal, an act which goes against previously established foundations. There was the man who hit Lupey once with a shovel many years later who could never safely be with the wolf again. In contrast during Lupey’s second year he developed a nasty infection on his left hip from spring hair that had somehow caused blisters as he tried to shed it for the warming days. Here my landlady and I together held Lupey and placed potassium permanganate, a smelly purple oxidizing disinfectant, on the sore. Lupey winced, but never growled. I felt, with no clear evidence that he somehow knew we were trying to help.
Here I enter the limits to what I will ever know. What did Lupey really feel or think in his wolf mind during these times. I could only respond to what he did or did not do. But I trust we had a special connection, one that grew stronger over the years. I leave it to the reader to fill in the blanks, because blanks there are. We remain trapped in human minds and can only reach out indirectly to what may be the minds of other creatures. But the fact that Lupey and I formed a life-long bond is beyond question. I feel very honored by this fact.
When I use the word “heart” in the book ‘Lupey Journals: Lessons From The Heart Of A Wolf’, I simply mean to move beyond the rational parts of our minds. We touch animals in emotional ways. They touch us in their own ways, ways that do not involve what we think of as reasoned calculations. Sometimes we use the phrase “intuitive connections” to reflect these ways. Intuitive connections, by definition, do not have easily defined objective roots.
The issues here touch upon themes of animal consciousness. We can measure what animals do, how they do it and when. Then we are left with inferences that cross species lines. It is a fact that through evolutionary roots we share much of our basic neural circuitry with other species, what Darwin emphasized with the phrase “continuity of species”. It is also true and widely recognized since Darwin’s time (and before) that even though we share core roots, the branches of evolution take special paths that are unique for every animal form on earth. So here is the comparative challenge: when do we emphasize similarities and when do we emphasize differences? When in the realm of unseen inferences, we often do not even know what to look for in any comprehensive way.
Wolves and our dogs of course share ancestral roots, and dogs connect with us in deep ways. We get an intuitive sense of what they are up to, and I suspect the same can be said for their awareness of us. We communicate well together, in often-subtle ways. But at the end we are left with many unknowns how this works. I can say with confidence that Lupey and I connected in obvious and not so obvious ways. That mystery, how we did this, remains one of the deep joys in my life. I am grateful to him for helping me appreciate and explore these things – even though final (full) answers may never be available. Lupey was a wolf. I am a man. We joined in our separate ways. And what a joy that was.
At some level I should perhaps temper my use of the term “trust” in my relationship with Lupey. He was, after all, a direct descendent of other gray wolves. Several individuals had expressed their doubts to me that I was entering into safe, even sane, territory. And yes, I did stay vigilant in our early days together, checking for signs that might mean that our relationship would fail. After a period of time my checking was done without conscious effort, rather like the way I might hit my hip pocket to be certain I have my wallet, or noticing a clock only when it stops ticking.
Clearly trust is a fundamentally subjective term and that fact hits upon how my life with Lupey contained so much more than easily documented observations. With time I moved from trust for this animal to a deep affection. I will never fully know what Lupey felt, but am happy with the image that our affections were mutual – different in kind and degree perhaps, but mutual. The joyful mystery is that I shall never fully know.
Words that refer to subjective states are rarely if ever satisfactory. Nor do the same words mean the same things to all who use them as they reflect upon our individual internal states. But as humans we use language to communicate, and must live with the limitations this entails, especially in the subjective realm. While we clearly do not know the detailed subjective states of animals, for we are not they, it is critical to recognize that they too may have rich inner lives. This is especially obvious with our fellow social mammals, a category firmly held by our wolf brethren. At the very least, trust – along with concepts such as intelligence – are not uni-dimensional entities, and surely are both shared and distinctive across species, even individual, lives. There is more to lives than its rational veneer.
There are many deep tangles in these explorations. When I ventured from ethology into the behavioral neurosciences I became fascinated by the details through which our brains and those of other creatures operate. These are great advances, as are the advances in evolutionary theory, development, cognitive psychology – and so many more. Yet we are left with deeper human questions such as who are we and how do we connect with others that are both so similar and so different from us. There are no final answers here. Lupey did not give me final answers. But he helped me explore. I will always thank him for this. Thank you Lupey.
Photo Credits
All Photos © John Fentress – All Rights Reserved
Guest Author Bio
John Fentress
I began my academic studies in psychology, with a minor in the biological sciences. From an early age I sought to explore the roots both of human existence and our relationships to nature. I had the amazing good fortune to live life with a special wolf when I pursued my PhD studies at Cambridge UK. The field is called “ethology”, the comparative and biological study of behavior. In addition to my scientific studies, which have moved into the neurosciences, I have long had deep philosophical interests concerning questions such as what we as humans are all about, and how we connect with the universe more generally.
Blog / Website: Lupey Wolf
Dear John,
Very well done article about the special relationships we form with nonhumans. As a “bird man” I was reminded of the inspiring writings of Henry Beston, in his “Outermost House”.
best regards,
Harvey Karten
I have always loved wolves and enjoyed reading about Lupey. Have a collection of wolf memorabilia and will add your book when it comes out.
Thanks Sandy. I share with you a collection of wolf memorabilia. Its wonderful how some animals catch our attention, and inspire us. I will get the Lupey book our ASAP as many folks seem keen to read it. A few ideas can be found on lupeywolf.com website.
Best,
John
I also enjoyed this article. Even though study after study shows the wolf to be elusive,your story points to their affinity for closeness with their own kind and every so often,humans. Please let me know where I can purchase your book about Lupey. And how he came by that name,lol. Thank you for your story.
Hi Cynthia,
Thank you for your kind comments. The book is in progress (see lupeywolf.com for a hint). I currently have about 100 short sections written but need to assemble them in some sensible manner. As for Lupey’s name (you probably guessed) its stolen from Canis lupus (wolf). I thought that might be better than something like “Fang” :-).
John
I loved this article, a beautifully written exploration of our relationships with the animals we love, and what they teach us.
Hey Patricia!
I am sure that John would be very interested in the great work you are doing with Elephants!
John … check this when you have some time: http://lifeasahuman.com/author/patriciasims/
Cheers,
Gil
Thank you Gil. All of these contacts, such as Patricia’s work with elephants, are for me (and I know you) an important part of our lives as humans! I will look into Patricia’s efforts more deeply. Great stuff!
John
Thank you Patricia. I would love to learn more about your own work, and will look it up. Elephants are remarkable creatures and your efforts to understand them better on their terms, and thus protect them as well as educate us, is extremely important. I am delighted that Gil Namur followed up. He has been a wonderful inspiration as well as pragmatic help through all of this. Life is a grand adventure; better when we are connected to those diverse other life forms, big and small.
John, thank you for your comments! Kinship with animals is one of the greatest things we can achieve as humans. I’ll look forward to reading more about your work with wolves.
Please feel free to contact me directly at info@elephantsneverforget.ca . Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Patricia.
I spent a rewarding time last night looking at, a reading, your wonderful contributions to elephants who certainly deserve to be honored and protected (physically, mentally, emotionally). The lessons, as with wolves, go much deeper than a single species, as of course you are deeply aware.
Thanks for the contact info. Gil Namur and I have discussed the possibilities of getting together for a conversation sometime down the line. He lives quite close to your home (when you are at home in BC), and I am certain he joins me with an open invitation if you would like to join us.
In the meantime keep up your great work. Its inspirational.
My best,
John
Human beings are social creatures, much like canines and other primates. At our best, we human beings can bond on a level such as you, Dr. Fentress, and Lupey accomplished, a level of pure trust without betrayal, envy, hate or greed. Unfortunately our overdeveloped frontal lobes have created pitfalls in human relationships that you and Lupey never had to face. Sadly this makes it a much greater undertaking to find a human companion of the quality of a good dog (or wolf)!
Thanks George,
I agree. When we treat animals (or other humans) just “objectively” (i.e. distantly) it is too easy for our dear old frontal lobes to translate “objective” into “objects”. Lupey, and dogs as you say, are not “objects” nor do they operate at that sometimes overdone human analytical level. Thus themes like mutual trust, caring, and other “subjective” terms are essential for any meaningful relationship.
Good of you to comment.
John
What a heartwarming experience. I have a special love for wolves and huskies – I had 2 huskies when I lived in Quebec – thank you for your inspiration.
Yes indeed, Heather. Having worked with numerous wolves, and knowing (but not owning) huskies they are each special creations that we are fortunate to know. And, by the way, huskies are one of the dog breeds most closely related to wolves – something I suspect you already know.
Quebec is a lovely province, and I am certain your 2 huskies added many bright and happy days for you.
Best,
John
It is time for you John to continue working on your wonderful tales of Lupey your beautiful wolf, he deserves it and all wolves deserve it. Maybe your work will help the rest of us who are fighting so hard for these beautiful creatures, who in my way of feeling people should be so structual as the wolf pack
Judy,
I very much appreciate your thoughtful comment. Yes indeed, I certainly know of your own love of wolves, and the many many efforts your have undertaken on their behalf. That’s special, and all too rare. We should send you a gold star!
John
Hi John –
Thanks for sharing your amazing experience with Lupey. I find your story remarkable in two very important ways. First, you must be a very special person to have forged such a bond with a wolf, a species not known for it’s affinity to humans. But second, and perhaps more important, is that you seemed to understand that trust and relationship is the basis for all interspecies communication.
As someone who works and trains with people and their dogs, it can be a struggle to help people to understand that their dogs are not human and that they do have their own minds and views on their world. The story of how you developed a working partnership with Lupey mirrors so much of what I have learned in the past few years about successfully teaching and working with dogs. The important difference is that you did not have the benefit of our collected knowledge here in the 21st century. You seem to have come to your understanding of Lupey on your own, decades ahead of the dog world.
Your story stands as a testament that listening to animals (actually more like observing) and trying to understand their behaviour is much more productive than just trying to get them to do what we want. Thanks for sharing your story in such a well-written and compelling way. I’ll be sharing this with friends and colleagues.
Thanks again, John, and hope to read more from you soon!
Eric Brad
Eric,
I very much appreciate your note. I am certain being a successful dog trainer is both an art and science, and as you say this is blended by a need to try and understand the dogs you work with. Training owners must be a more difficult task! I can say this as I now have a wonderful but somewhat “spoiled” German Shepherd. Since we live out in the country that works most of the time. But he does love barking, and occasionally chasing other creatures when I wish he would not. But he is super friendly if people just try to connect with him, on dog terms.
As you probably know wolves do not bark as domesticated dogs do. In our subsequent work with wolves (at the Canadian Centre for Wolf Research, Nova Scotia) the most common barks were soft “ruffs” if we approached a den with pups. One of the enjoyable projects we had was to examine a variety of forms of wolf communication, dealing with nearly 50 wolves we studied from birth across their lifetimes. This a rich area for future studies.
Wolves and dogs are remarkable animals. It is wonderful that people like you are helping to make both dogs and their owners more comfortable, and yes in a reciprocal way, trusting.
Best of luck,
John
Many thanks to you John for this delightful story of Lupey and you.
Also thanks to Martha for encouraging you to share it with LAAH readers.
I am convinced that we share a very strong bond with much animal and bird life. After all is said and done, life IS life no matter its form. Some of us have the great honor of being recognized and appreciated by so many different creatures, and to enjoy the feeling of mutual understanding.. Language is unnecessary; actions and the eyes are so often mandatory , but not always.
My personal attractions are diverse , mainly to the Wolf , the Crows / Ravens, . and briefly a couple of times, to a passing-by Cheetah in Africa. It stopped running and stood very still by my side and his eyes deeply explored my eyes, then seemed happy and bounded off, to stop a little way away and turned around and looked again very deeply into my eyes then entered the forested area..
Please do share with us some more of your personal experiences…
Thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful (and feeling) comments. Yes, I agree. As an ethologist I have learned how to appreciate each animal species for its special gifts. You are fortunate indeed to have seen a Cheetah in the wild. That must have been a wonderful adventure. Sometimes single events have the most impact. At my home, just south of Eugene, Oregon, I have seen only one cougar, although they do inhabit this part of the country. It was a beautiful young male. I was in my car at the time and when I tried to approach slowly in bounded away with only two leaps that I could see. That was special. Nature is special. Again thanks for the nice note.
I’m glad to see you sent this in and got it put on the web. It’s a great story and it beats writing for the desk drawer.
Thanks Martha,
I am delighted that you introduced me to this site.
Thanks to Gil for helping me with this. It was fun. Lupey was special.
My pleasure John. It’s a very interesting story and I am so glad you chose to submit it. It was a treat for me to help with it and I know a lot of our readers will really appreciate it 🙂
Cheers,
Gil
What an wonderful, articulate essay on the nature of what was a fairly unusual and special relationship: a man with a wolf. I had the great pleasure of experiencing similar, though less close and intense, relationships with wolves under Dr. Fentress’s mentorship many years ago at Dalhousie University and the Canadian Centre for Wolf Research. This article eloquently captures some of the nuances of interacting with these magnificent animals that are, on the one hand, so very familiar as members of the dog family, yet so alien. Thank you John. I am so looking forward to the book.
Peter,
I failed to thank you for your generous comments (above). It was kind of you to write. Yes indeed, our Nova Scotia wolves gave us much pleasure, and your studies of their display development plus more did much to add knowledge to these truly remarkable creatures.
I look forward to getting the book done!!
All the best,
John
Great to see you are making progress. Keep it up.
Love, Jeannie.