I guess I consider myself “old school” and like to be somewhat reserved yet open to new things and situations. But something changed: I met something who was white but really caramel colored inside and I let her inside me. She knew all my secrets and thoughts and for six years we both knew that we would be forever friends.
A lot of people told me I was wrong to be her friend, but I just considered them “haters” and paid them no mind. If she isn’t around when I get nervous, I would have to go and find her. She was never far away and she seemed to know when she saw me that I needed her. I have tried to sometimes hide the fact that we were friends but then I thought “who am I kidding?” I want her and I to be friends and so we were…or shall I say “are.”
You see, I had chosen to end the friendship and I told her and she did not say a word. Then I started to have second thoughts. She has been a part of my life for such a long time. Who will I share my secrets with? Who will calm me when I am anxious? Who will go out on the porch and listen to early risings and quiet prayers for my children? Who will I hold when things are scary?
Should I get her back? Maybe I am not ready to be friendless. See, a true friend understands you without words. And I have not found anyone who I could call a true friend. I have met men who have told me I was unattractive when I was with her. I have also met ladies who were shocked she was my friend.
Sometimes I am embarrassed to be with her and hate to admit that. I mean, I am a grown woman and I can do whatever I want. It’s my right. It’s my body. But more to the point…quitting smoking is not my cup of tea.
Photo Credit
“How-to: How to Stop Smoking” © Some rights reserved by YOUscription on Flickr
Great Article Phyllis,
It’s hard to believe you were talking about smoking and made me reflect on friendship in general. Some of them are healthy and some not so much.
Thanks for the reflection
(the future) Dr. H