A lot of people must have fantasies about proving their worth to old high school foes, at least if the list at the movie rental shop is any indication. The plot line goes like this: impending high school reunion, former square-peg starts to stress, undergoes makeover, makes entrance as a shining success, and then comes to the realization she doesn’t need classmates’ validation after all.
Don’t get me wrong. If I thought I could pull off a one-upmanship at my looming 20-year high school reunion, I’d consider making an appearance. But as it stands, I really don’t have time to schedule-in a tummy tuck, several rounds of Botox and a winning lotto ticket, so I’ll probably give it a pass.
It’s not that I don’t feel happy about where I am in life. I do. And I wouldn’t trade a thing. But you know as well as I do that when Ms. Perfect shows up wearing designer digs and looking not a day older than 25, confidence ignores logic and starts to crumble.
Who is Ms. Perfect? Oh, that person who just seemed to sail through life’s often unkind moments – like puberty, calculus and the prom. It’s not that you actually have anything against Ms. Perfect personally. In fact, the annoying part is that you can’t help but like her. She’s just got charisma. And it gets her far. With teachers, other students, and even parents.
But you kind of figure that once you and your high school crowd leave school, the playing field will change. In the “real world,” other things will matter just a much. Things of substance. Right?
Wrong. As it turns out, the kind of social signals that people like Ms. Perfect send out can lead to more sucessful salary negotiations and even greater chances of survival after a plane crash. And Alex “Sandy” Pentland, who directs the MIT Human Dynamics Lab, has the numbers to prove it.
In the most recent issue of Harvard Business Review (January-February 2010), Pentland was asked to put his research findings to the test:
“The challenge: Can we really tell who will succeed in competitive business situations without knowing what they have to offer?
So here’s what they did:
Sandy Pentland and colleague Daniel Olguin Olguin outfitted executives at a party with devices that recorded data on their social signals – tone of voice, gesticulation, proximity to others, and more. Five days later the same executives presented business plans to a panel of judges in a contest. Without reading or hearing the pitches, Pentland correctly forecast the winners, using only data collected at the party.”
Yes, you read that right. Using only data from only the party – they did not read or hear the business presentations – they were able to identify which individuals would succeed. The quality of the ideas could have been garbage for all Pentland and Olguin Olguin knew, but they still managed to predict who would win this business-plan competition with 87% accuracy.
But ever since you first came across those Ms. or Mr. Perfects, you had a gut instinct about this, didn’t you? The interesting part about Pentland’s research is not that the winner continues to win, it’s that the social signals that enable winning can now be measured and quantified.
This is actually good news for the less charismatic among us. Take Penelope Trunk for example. Trunk is an entrepreneur and founder of Brazen Careerist, whose blog has more than 48,000 subscribers. She openly acknowledges that she has no social intuition. And that’s because she has Asperger Syndrome. And yet, she has managed to succeed in the workplace. How? By studying precisely the kind of research that Pentland conducts and applying it to her career life.
But there’s more than research that can be used to advantage. There’s the internet. It is far easier to present yourself as a socially proficient human being virtually than in real life. With a blog, for example, you can choose when you feel like communicating, edit your words and even steal a few good jokes to script-in intermittently. Not so much in real life. In real life, there’s stuttering and blank expressions and feeling just plain awkward. The internet has truly levelled the playing field between the charismatic and the not-so-charismatic.
For me, this is all good news. Why? Not because I feel that I particularly lack charisma (I have, after all, been able to charm a person or two into buying me a coffee). But because it’s allowed me to connect with people that I likely wouldn’t have had the opportunity to otherwise. People that are particularly shy or introverted. People who don’t work in communications and throw their photo up on a blog. And these people have enriched my life. Deeply.
So while many find that the internet has expanded their world. For me, it’s made the world smaller. With lots more winners in the room.
Photo Credits
“Marilyn Monroe” danny bikspr @ flickr. Creative Commons. Some rights reserved.
An interesting take on the internet and how it has changed our concepts of social networking. I believe we are only seeing the start of the social effects of this medium.Excellent article.
John
We have all met them, people that capture your attention, and it is a difficult thing to pin down just what they are doing differently that makes them so appealing to be with. A bit like you. You make me proud.
Got love this girl! What a take on life – definitely think you should reconsider the high school reunion though – you might be surprised. Keep up the creative energy!
Julie – I enjoy reading your writing because of how you balance the objective with your own personal twist. You are the smartest, quirkiest girl I know. See you around. Good luck with this!
Frank, Kelly, Finola, Megs and Nadine – Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! Some of us (like me!) are far more attached to the internet than others, but it has so radically changed our world, hasn’t it? To be able to connect with people I would never have had the opportunity to in “real life” (Finola) and people that I knew from the past (Nadine) and my dear family (Frank and Megs) in such far places as Australia and Korea — and even dear friends who although close in geography, have lives as manic as mine (Kelly)! 🙂
Thanks for this great article Julie! If it wasn’t for FaceBook I would never have found it, so I believe the internet is a great way to connect people, articles, thoughts, and friendship. Looking forward to reading many more articles written by you! NG : )
great article! thanks for the interesting read.
Congratulations on a great article!
I have always been of the opinion that bloggers were more likely to be introverts because they don’t have to face as much social awkwardness when writing as they would when speaking. There is also more time to formulate snappy thoughts and comments instead of having to come up with them on the spot. But I’m seeing now that bloggers are of all different sorts, and perhaps are people who just enjoy expressing themselves through words.
And you have just made me realize that it has been 20 years since I graduated from high school too. I haven’t heard anything about a reunion yet, and I hope it stays that way!
Great article Julie! Insightful!
Great stuff, Julie. I must find time to look over the site more thoroughly. Keep up the great work.
Laura – I don’t think Penelope Trunk would consider herself a “socially successful Aspie” — but she IS successful. Her company Brazen Careerist is completely internet-based.
Trish – You can’t fool me! I know for a fact that more than a few coffees have come your way. You charmer, you! 🙂
Kim – Thanks so much for visiting and commenting! I really hope this e-zine has tons of success too.
Leslie – Hey, interesting point! Do they consciously “think like winners” or is it an instinctive, more natural thing? I’m going to read more into his research!
Great article!
An interesting next step in the research would be to go back and interview those successful people, the ones who were giving off “winner” vibes at the party, to see what they were THINKING while they were acting so successful. You know, believe you’re a winner, act like one . . . and you are! Perhaps they’ve mastered this trick.
Fascinating read, kudos Julie. And I love this new e-zine. Will be back again soon.
Loved reading the ariticle for its entertainment and information. Wishing this e-zine lots of success!
I completely agree with you, Julie. I like the “space” that virtual communications allow for me. It gives me a forum for being funny, or insightful and provides the opportunity to get that all back from others out there in the virtual world.
So you can imagine that life is pretty good for me both ways, considering that I am naturally charismatic anyway! (okay, maybe only a coffee or two have come my way. But it still counts.)
A socially successful Aspie? Wow! There is hope for my boy yet…but I think he would prefer a dark computer lab when it comes right down to it. 😉 Great article, congrats!
Ads & Carol – thanks for visiting and I’m glad you found the topic of interest! I am so endlessly fascinated by the internet in particular.
Nat – LOL – you are so right. If someone assumed you to be a quiet litt’ ol’ thing from reading you online, they’d be in for a surprise when they met the bold, red-haired livewire you are in real life! I’ll never forget the first time I met you … you were reading a VERY provocative post at BOLO.
XUP – I love how you can challenge my thinking on things! But what about, for example, those with a special talent such as intelligence that may not have been provided with opportunities to exploit this talent due to the societal charisma-lovin’ thing? The internet provides a venue (a playing field) that did not exist before in such an example. Research shows that the world is set up for serving the extroverted among us — in school, in the workplace — and I really do think the internet has opened up other possibilities for expression and even careers that cater more (or are at least more palatable for) the introvert. And no, you don’t eventually have to come out in public …pseudonyms and reclusiveness are totally possible. (Imagine if J.D. Salinger had had the internet as a young man?)
I don’t like the idea of a level playing field. I don’t even think it’s possible. The non-charismatic will have to come out in public eventually, right? And charisma alone isn’t going to make them successful in every area. I see nothing wrong with people succeeding because of a special gift they have – whether it’s a special intelligence, a creative gift or the gift of charisma. Congratulations on this first issue!
Fascinating! (Love the site btw.)
I wonder if you can predict who is more socially awkward online vs. in real life. I met a fellow blogger who assumed I’d be more stayed in real life. Maybe it allows the loud and brash in life to tone it down a touch too….
Lovely post.
Hmmm I will have to get a coffee and come back to explore some of the links provided. Interesting stuff.
Thanks for taking the time to share
Carol
Wonderful article! Like all major life-changing developments, the internet means different things to different people. But the most fascinating part are the unexpected and unforeseen directions it has taken our society. This article perfectly encapsulates one such direction – thank you!