In some cultures, children are asked to consider a profound question at a very early age:
Why are you here?
The question is meant to get the child thinking about their purpose in life. I think this is a great idea and I really wish I had thought to do that when my kids were younger. As we mature, we all develop filters that obstruct our thinking and our imagination. These filters do not inhibit the minds of young children. What better time to ask; why are you here?
When we ask ourselves that same question later in life, it becomes a very complicated issue to address. A tactic many might use is to ask a different question. What am I good at? Perhaps this can help but I think we need to go a little deeper.
Without getting into semantics, let’s consider the differences between skills, talents and gifts.
Skills:
All of us can learn and develop skills. In fact, to survive, we have to develop a great many skills. To name a few, driving, cooking, walking, writing, reading, computation, organizational, interpersonal, jumping, singing, memorizing, drawing and running are all skills.
Talents:
As we develop them, most of us gravitate towards certain skills. 
Some might become chefs, athletes, dancers, teachers, artists, musicians or scientists. I believe we gravitate in certain directions because we have specific talents. It is easier for some people to do certain things than it is for others because they have an innate talent. I believe that with effort and determination, within reason, it is ‘possible’ for anyone to do just about anything. However, it is far more ‘probable’ that the individual with talent will achieve that same goal.
Gifts:
I believe we are all born with at least one special gift and that there is a difference between our talents and our gifts. For example, if we were to take the top 100 classically trained pianists from across the nation and ask them all to perform, we would undoubtedly hear 100 virtuoso technical performances, but, a few of them would stand out. Somehow, those few are able to apply their talent in a unique way and touch a part of us that none of the others could. The same is true of writers, artists, public speakers and dancers. The most gifted of these can touch our hearts in ways that the others simply cannot. I have met musicians who were so highly skilled that they could play just about anything with very little effort. Technical monsters we call them, but they really don’t move me that much. I have met far less skilled musicians who with just a few simple chords could sing a simple song and bring an audience to tears. That’s a gift!
I think that to find our purpose, we are better served to ask; what are my unique gifts? I believe that young children inherently know this. Unfortunately, our education systems do not usually recognize individual gifts. It is only through the interventions of people who might notice, perhaps a special teacher, a parent or a friend that we are presented the opportunity to pursue what we are best suited for.
In conversations with my friends and family members, many have told me that as kids, they were great at certain things but life’s interventions and obligations prevented them from pursuing these passions. This leads me to believe that at an early age we know what our gifts are and what we gravitate towards. I am a firm believer that it’s never too late. I don’t believe that our gifts have an expiry date. Clearly, as we get older, it is more difficult. Sadly, most of us consider the idea of re-engaging our gifts or our passions as, impractical.
With all of that in mind, I will now ask a different question.
If we already know what our gifts are, but for whatever reason, are unwilling to develop them, then why even ask the question, why am I here and what is my purpose?
If you are not using your gifts, you should consider doing so. Embracing them will bring you much joy and fulfillment. Sharing them will bring that same joy into the lives of others. Think about it, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Related Articles
It’s Never Too Late to Embrace Our Passions
Photo Credits
Kids In A Doorway © Gilabrand
A man and a woman performing a modern dance © Barry Goyette
Chick Corea in concert © Roland Godefroy
First published at synaptici.com July 19, 2009
Recent Gil Namur Articles:
- Look After the Little Things
- Promenade
- Close Encounters Of The Google Kind
- Always In This Heart
- A Dance of Delight
I don’t know, sometimes I feel like talking about gifts and talents is more limiting than uplifting. When I was a kid, I knew I loved science and knew I was great at it. I always knew I wanted to do something scientific or technical. I dabbled a bit in the arts–acting, writing, photography, music–but I always knew that my purpose was to do something technical. So that’s what I pursued in school and later in college.
And that’s what I do for a living now. I’ve been an electrical engineer for nine years. I’m really good at it. Maybe not as great as I used to think–college and work gave me some much needed perspective on how smart I really am–but it’s not bragging to say that I am both skilled and talented in my work.
And yet, despite the fact that engineering is probably what I’m best at, it’s not something that brings me any joy. I’m not sure exactly when that happened–there certainly was a time when a new project was fun and exciting, but somewhere along the line, engineering just became a means to a paycheck and not much more. I don’t hate my job. It’s perfectly tolerable. But it doesn’t fulfill me in any meaningful way.
If I were able to go back and tell myself to do it differently, I don’t think I would, because I’m happy to have had the experiences I’ve had. Still, I’m not sure that I’ll be telling my own son to just follow his gifts when he’s trying to decide the course of his life.
Hi Mike,
Thanks for your comments and your insights. I can relate to what you are saying. For 2 decades, I was in the computer industry / IT space. At first, I loved it (which is why I got into it) but after 15 years I became disenchanted. I did very well and was poised to accelerate my career into much higher echelons but I no longer believed in the value proposition of what we were doing. So, after several years of thinking about it and having what I call a crisis of conscience, I decided to walk away from it. I can tell you it was no easy decision from a monetary perspective as it cost me about 70% of what I was accustomed to earning. Its been almost 10 years now and I have spent that time trying to engage in the things that do make smile and do make me happy. While I may have less money, I feel much better spiritually and I am far less stressed .. well .. in general LOL
Probably my main talent and gift is music. I have been playing since I was 4 and it comes so easily to me. It however does not always make me happy and so I have seasons where I play and write a lot, and others where I don’t.
The other thought I have here is that while we may engage in something at a certain point in our lives that brings us fulfillment, as time passes we grow and we change and so engaging new challenges or revisiting old passions is never a bad idea. One is NEVER to old to do this. Did you read my “It’s Never Too Late to Embrace Our Passions” piece? ( http://lifeasahuman.com/2010/mind-spirit/inspirational/2010/mind-spirit/inspirational/its-never-too-late-to-embrace-our-passions/ ) I’d be interested in your thoughts 🙂
Thanks again for your insights Mike. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!
Cheers,
Gil
I did read that piece, actually, and it’s very close to a lot of things I’ve been thinking about in my own life in the past couple of years. I’m not currently in a position to be able to quit my engineering job, but what I am doing is making the time for personal pursuits now, rather than putting them off until later. It’s been less than a year since I really became diligent about my writing, and only a few months since I picked up photography again, but both have made a world of difference in terms of my personal drive and sense of satisfaction. I’m getting there.
Hi again Mike,
That’s great! I wish you every good thing 🙂
I bought a cheap little battery operated amp a week ago .. and I am playing again .. and .. I like it!
Might have to make a 2nd CD 😉