A Simple Smile

Everyone needs a pat on the back now and then. Even a simple smile can make a huge difference in someone’s day. It seems to me that this morsel of truth is becoming lost on a great many of us. As I write this, the title I have in mind is ‘Affirmation’ but I can tell already that the scope of this article will go well beyond that word. Words like courtesy, politeness, care, acceptance and kindness also come to mind.

The other day, I was waiting in line to pay for my groceries. As I waited, I observed the interaction, or lack thereof, between some customers ahead of me and a very pleasant young cashier.

“Hello ma’am, how are you today?” asked the cashier with a huge smile on her face.

“Fine” replied the customer without so much as the trace of a smile.

“Would you like your groceries packed in paper or plastic bags today?” asked the cashier, still smiling.

“Plastic!” said the client abruptly, apparently annoyed by the question.

When the cashier finished ringing through all the groceries, still smiling, she politely asked, “Would you like some help to your vehicle with these?”

Making no eye contact, the client grunted “No” and was gone.

The next customer wasn’t much better. The cashier remained pleasant and cheerful but the man she was serving never once made eye contact or offered a thank you. I could see the frustration in the cashier’s eyes but to her credit, she just kept smiling and efficiently doing her job.

When my turn came, she smiled and asked how I was doing today.

“Ducky” I replied with a big grin. I then asked, “How are you?”

She looked up at me as if I was the first one to ask her that question all day. “I am very well thank you!” she replied, her smile growing wider. “Would you like your groceries packed in paper or plastic bags today?”

“Plastic, please and thank you” I answered.

I noticed a few suspicious looks coming my way from the stern faced customer who was next in line. I just smiled at them and continued engaging the cashier. As she scanned my groceries, she made small talk asking if I had big plans for the weekend and commenting on how yummy the stuffed mushrooms looked.

When I had paid, I said, “Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day. You’re doing a great job!”

She beamed, thanked me and then turned her attention to the next customer who apparently had a sudden change of heart and greeted her with a smile. I again smiled at this customer, nodded and then left the store.

This type of behavior is not unique in my experience. Rather, it is becoming commonplace. I see this every day in department stores, gas stations, restaurants, pretty much everywhere I go. To be fair, I see it on both sides of the counter, some employees aren’t very friendly either.

Try this little experiment some time. Go for a walk on a street where there will be many other people walking to and fro. As you pass them, make eye contact and smile. Whenever I try this, whether I am wearing a suit and tie or jeans and a rugby shirt, only a small percentage of the people smile back at me. Mostly, I receive looks that are disapproving, distrusting, even disdainful. Essentially, I am dissed! I don’t take it personally but find it at once both interesting, and sad. It is a shame that so many people go through life with such little joy in their hearts.

It would be easy to say that perhaps the customer served by the pleasant cashier was having a bad day. Even when I am having a bad day, I still try to be polite and return a smile with a smile. Why should that be such a hard thing? Besides, no matter how bad your day is, someone else is having an even worse one. Why make the cashier pay for it? It’s all about courtesy, respect, kindness and good manners.

Here’s a thought. It’s quite possible that the young cashier was having a bad day herself. Who could blame her! Still, she ‘chose’ to smile. That’s a great choice. The grumpy customers ‘chose’ not to smile. Those are poor choices. If you have read some of my other articles, you might have noticed that I often use the words ‘choose’ and ‘choice’. I do this very intentionally. Our feelings direct our attitude and our attitude inevitably dictates our actions. How we choose to act affects others around us. It is a better choice to spread light, rather than darkness.

Some years ago, I was conducting that little experiment I mentioned earlier. It’s something I did quite often. It was the noon hour and the streets were very busy. I was walking at a fast pace when I passed a woman waiting to catch a bus. She was wearing a very big straw sun hat, a very colorful jacket and was looking down at the ground. As I passed her, her bus was just pulling in to the bus stop. She looked up and made eye contact. I smiled. She looked taken aback at first but then smiled. A moment later, the bus passed me.

Half a block later I heard someone behind me saying “please wait!” I turned to see that the woman in the very big straw hat was hurrying towards me. She stopped a few feet in front of me.

“Thank you” she said.

“For stopping?” I inquired.

“For the smile! I have been standing at the bus stop for fifteen minutes and not one person smiled at me. When you smiled, I was deep in thought wondering what was wrong with everyone. I just had to thank you for brightening my day.”

“But you missed your bus!” I replied.

“Missing my bus was a small price to pay in order to thank you for bringing a bit of sunshine into my day. It’s only another fifteen minutes till the next one comes”.

I thanked her for her kind act. She smiled and happily headed back to the bus stop to wait for the next bus.

Affirmation need not be a complicated act. When you smile at someone, you affirm them and bring light into their lives. Courtesy, politeness, care, acceptance, love and kindness can all start so easily with the most uncomplicated of acts; a simple smile.

That’s it! Now I know what I will title this article, but then again, so do you since you’ve already read it!

Now, please get out there and smile at someone! :- )

Additional Reading Suggestion:

Random Acts of Hello Counteract Unhappiness by Kylen O. Lefave

Photo Credits

A Happy Day © Gil Namur
Lots of Light Here © Robin Namur
A great smile © Chris Holt

 

Originally posted on May 15, 2009 at synaptici

Recent Gil Namur Articles:

• Look After the Little Things
• Promenade
• Close Encounters Of The Google Kind
• Always In This Heart
• A Dance of Delight