With apologies to Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk, the first rule of having type II diabetes is that you don’t talk about having type II diabetes. Ever.
I learned this the hard way five years ago when I was first diagnosed. Any type II diabetic who’s being honest with you will say that getting diagnosed throws your life into complete chaos. Suddenly, you can’t trust your body. It doesn’t process glucose like it should. You eat like everyone else, maybe even better than some. But your body, for some unknown reason, can’t cope. Previously “healthy” foods like carrots, milk and orange juice are on your own personal no-fly list. You don’t know what to eat, but still you have to keep eating. Like I said, chaos.
Luckily, I got into a program – what I refer to as Diabetic Boot Camp – shortly after diagnosis and learned how to eat, monitor my sugars, and live with the ups and downs of the condition. Thanks to this program, I was able to put some order to the chaos, and start to cope.
For me, part of that coping was to talk about having type II diabetes. I thought it would help ease some of my fears and maybe I would help others.
Boy, was I wrong.
Tell someone you’ve just been diagnosed with diabetes – be it type I or type II – and they’ll likely launch into a story about some aged relative – usually an aunt – who lost a foot due to diabetic complications. I heard this so many times after I was diagnosed I was convinced there must be entire rest homes filled with one-footed aunts. Or, maybe there was just one aunt with a single foot and she was somehow related to everyone I came across.
As a newly diagnosed diabetic, stories about these one-footed aunts didn’t exactly calm my nerves. The truth is, though, far fewer diabetics today suffer complications, thanks to better monitoring and education.
People who knew I was diabetic suddenly became very concerned with what I was eating. Soon after completing Diabetes Boot Camp I went to my favorite breakfast hangout and ordered a roasted veggie omelet, declaring to my waiter that I’d be making a few changes since I’d just been diagnosed with type II diabetes.
When my order came to the table, he hesitantly put down a bottle of ketchup. In a stage whisper worthy of a veteran Broadway actor, he said, “I didn’t know if I should bring ketchup or not. It’s full of sugar.”
He said this, despite the half-plate of pan-fried potatoes that accompanied my order, which would probably do more to push my blood sugar levels than a few drops of ketchup. I used the ketchup, but only ate a few of the potatoes. And, I’d planned for the meal, calculating ahead of time how much I could eat, and of what, and timed my medication accordingly.
It’s not surprising that people don’t have a clue about what type II diabetes is, how it works, and what it’s like to live with it. Mostly, I think, it’s due to fear. You can’t help but fear something that news anchors talk about in the same tones they reserve for elevated terror alerts and send-your-house-to-Oz tornadoes.
Not a week goes by that you don’t hear dire warnings about the rising type II diabetes rates and how this or that will increase your risk of “getting” diabetes – like it’s something you catch from a public washroom door handle.
I once saw a piece on the local news about a diabetes fundraising walk. The reporter asked people if they were walking in memory of someone with diabetes. To those who said they knew someone living with type I diabetes, she responded with understanding tut-tutting sounds about how awful that must be.
Of those who said they knew someone with type II diabetes, however, she would ask, repeatedly, “That’s the preventable one, right?” Translation: having type I diabetes is noble because you can’t help getting it; having type II is your own darn fault.
These folks are not doing type II diabetics any favors. Yes, there are lifestyle components to type II diabetes, but there are also strong genetic factors. If you don’t have the genes, you’re not likely to get type II diabetes. That said, if you do have the genes, you may not go on to get the disease, but you might, and through no fault of your own.
In fact, when I was diagnosed my doctor said I was lucky to have a bit of weight to lose, as he regularly diagnosed rail-thin people with type II diabetes whose only option was to go on way more medication than I would need.
What that reporter, and others, should also know is that getting diagnosed with type II diabetes brings about enough guilt on its own, thank you very much, without everyone you meet adding to the pile. There’s enough to cope with in terms of testing your sugars as much as eight times a day, meal planning, carrying emergency sugar in case you go low, getting your blood work done every three months, exercising, and just generally trying to have a life.
Please think about that the next time someone breaks the first rule of the type II diabetes club and talks about it. They don’t need to hear about your one-footed aunt or that they did it to themselves. What they do need is a little understanding.
Photo Credit
“Fight Club” Special Edition Cover Australia
You sound like you are afflicted with a common ailment, TMI (to much information), or “oversharing.” I’ve been Type II for years, and never found any reason to tell anyone besides my family. Why are you telling a waitress why you are ordering what you are ordering?
Thanks for sharing Kevin. Not having either Type I or Type II diabetes, I had no idea the amount of stigma people live under every day.
It’s sad really in a day of increased communication and education about many diseases, disorders and conditions that we still lack the ability to empathize with people, resorting instead to judgment.
It’s only by sharing and educating that we will gradually remove stigma.
Julie —
Hah-hah. Yes, you also get the stories about people going blind. It’s so comforting for the recently diagnosed.
Kevin
Oh, did I mention I know someone who not only lost a foot, but went blind. BLIND, I tell ya’!
p.s. Just kidding, naturally. You really bring up such a good point re stigma. It can be one of the most debilatating elements of an illness. Those suffering with mental illness have to fight this kind of thing too.
Did you have sugar in your coffee this morning? Tut-tut. 😉
Kevin – great article and so true. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Narina. Given your occupation and interests, I’m flattered that you found it interesting.