I think there’s another reason we hold ourselves in the process of healing. It just occurred to me this morning after an upsetting interaction with one of my healers.
I think others hold us in the process as well. We’re abused and betrayed, broken and hurt – so we need to heal. Of course everyone believes it takes time, and suffering and hard, hard work. So they tell us all about how we need to be in the process of healing. And so – we stay.
People see us as poor victims who was abused, betrayed, violated, whatever. Once that stamp is on our foreheads, sometimes they’ll keep it there forever.
Our friends and family, healers and supporters don’t mean to hold us back. Anything but. Yet they get stuck into the same place we get stuck. We are victims and they treat us as such, exactly the way we were when we first told them about our history. Like nothing ever changes. Sure we get better, we may even get over it, but we’re still victims in their eyes.
Here’s a recent example in my life. I got sick with a flu that’s going around. One of my friends was really sick with it, and she gave it to me. Another friend had it as well. When I chatted with my doctor he told me it was the nastiest buggy he’d seen in a while — that everyone around here had it.
I, of course (thanks to that old programming) wondered if it were due to some energetic release or stress I wasn’t recognizing. So I called one of my energetic healers who immediately told me it was, indeed, a virus and that my energy looked great and I was doing superbly. It’s just a bug!
Well, then another of my healers checked to see how I was and I shared that wonderful news. The response was not what I expected. First she dissed the other healer as not understanding that everything was about energy. Wow – this from the person who told me how fabulous the first healer was as an energetic worker. Then she went on to tell me that I was only sick because I was afraid, a victim, that “they will manifest frequently if it is difficult for you to express your desires or do what it takes to realize them. You feel easily smothered and overwhelmed. The body is saying, ‘I’ve had it!’ The flu provides an obvious reason to get away from a situation.”
What garbage. There I said it. As much as I rely on healers, this is garbage.
I know myself and I’ve been on this journey longer than anyone else — and I am more honest with myself than anyone I know. I’m also in the best place I could imagine right now, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually. My dreams are coming true and the scary voices are quiet. I’m happy, peaceful and so in touch with my flow. And then I get this from a supposedly positive healing person?
The point I’m making is that other people often hold us in roles that are so very different from who we are today. By holding us in those roles, they contribute to our own choices to stay in the process.
So listen to your friends and family, but listen to yourself first. Step up and out of the process and decide to cross that finish line even if they don’t see you that way. Don’t let their past perspectives about you hold you back from healing.
When you’re looking at another person be sure to take into account all the growth they’ve accomplished, the progress they’ve made, the changes that are part and parcel of who they are – today. We all deserve nothing less.
Photo Credit
“disappointing” Blondie 5000 @ flickr.com. Creative Commons. some Rights Reserved.
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