I was never the kind of person to make excuses or play the victim. Through out my existence I have never been approached, or told that my situation was wrong, and wouldn’t end well. Wonder why that is? No idea. There were family members that saw it, but I didn’t care. Fell into the wrong place at the wrong time… Or did I?
I was only 15, she was 27. She, going through a divorce, me having issues at home. Two people with volatile, emotional situations looking for ways out, rules be damned. Red flags and stop signs came up, but ignored. I knew what I was doing. She knew what she was doing. Everything is fine… right?
In retrospect, no maybe things weren’t fine. I was too young. I didn’t know any better. It never crossed my mind that I was being used and manipulated. And yes, abused. I let my ego and selfishness blind me, and play along with this dangerous behaviour and game.
Definition of a victim is: a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. It also means: a person who is tricked or duped. I fit the definition. Without knowing, I was being harmed, tricked and duped. At the time, I ignored it. Now I see…
Not only was I a victim, but others were as well. No one was immune to victimization here. Her children, my family… so many regrets and things I can’t take back. Things I wish I could do over. But would I be who I am now without that? No excuses, remember? What’s wrong, is wrong.
I always replay things in my mind. But what’s done is done. The positive that comes out of this is that things are out in the open and those who were affected can try and pick up the pieces and become the best versions of themselves that they can.
We were all affected. As much as we don’t want to realize it. We all became victims because of someone’s poor choices. It’s a hard reality to face, but I, we NEED to move on, heal and become better people. The blind led the blind here, and now eyes are opened.
So I am sorry for the fact that my family life got impacted. Missed out on a lot. Forced them to accept a situation that they were right about from the get go. Ignoring a sibling that I should have been there for. Not being a good son, brother, or parent. At least I don’t think so.
But, with all that said, life moves on and doesn’t stop. Could wallow in the could have would haves, but what good does that do? We all need to heal, all be the opposite of victims. Life happens and it is what it is… time to rise and not be just another victim.
Helmet- “Just Another Victim”
“You disguise it up and try to make it look real… To cover up the low self esteem you feel…
Spection and after thought Swimmin’ in guilt’s your favorite sport”
Photos are by Joel Rosario – All Rights Reserved
Guest Author Bio
Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.
Website: Resound and Rebel