Previously I mentioned how I felt like a lost kid in a grown ups body most of the time. I believe that’s part of the reason I have social issues, body issues, etc. With all of that said, there are times I feel as though I don’t belong. I don’t fit in anywhere…
When you get abused, there are after effects. According to a quick search, they are:
Mental health conditions… check. I have been diagnosed with mixed depression and anxiety disorder. Got so bad I needed to be given medication for it.
Neuroticism, or the tendency toward low mood and negative emotions like anger… check. I am WAY better than I use to be. Low mood for sure, along with low self esteem. My temper was an issue in the past.
Chronic stress… triple check. Life is hard as it is. But when you suffer from issues like a lot of us, it’s amplified. Sure there are moments of normalcy and bliss, but the stress creeps in, almost in a taunting way.
Physical health challenges… check. Body dysmorphia and my weight have always been an issue. Always being tired and full of aches plague me. Motivation is also an issue. No want or motivation a lot of the time. The body and mind are willing, but the flesh is weak and wins.
Attachment challenges emotional disconnect or apathy… check. Like I stated before, I feel I am socially awkward. I have hard times making or keeping friends. I feel as though I don’t really relate, especially to other males. I for sure am not your typical guy. I also find it very easy to disconnect or stay disconnected when I feel I need to.
With all that said, what’s the solution? I know for the most part, but really it’s a matter of us taking a good look at ourselves, and our situations. Put in the work, which is hard. Especially hard at times. Also venting, crying, finding help when needed. Easier said than done, I know.
We belong. We deserve quality lives. Let’s fix what’s broken.
Current listen: Radiohead – Creep
“I don’t care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around”
Photos are by Joel Rosario – All Rights Reserved
Guest Author Bio
Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.
Website: Resound and Rebel