I have to be honest with you… I have been holding back. Can’t really tell you why. Is it shame, or fear? Certainly can’t change the past. Would I do things differently? Absolutely. But what’s done is done. Being a typical teenager who butted heads with authority, and a mistake lying in wait was the recipe for all of this.
Anxiety, depression, OCD, low self esteem, and on, and on, and on. All this to feel free when in reality it made me a prisoner. A slave. Once it was over, I felt free, but lost. Trying to find my way still as I write this. But I’m better than this, I am strong. Aren’t I?
Using this new freedom has been a challenge at times. But things do get better. Things do look up. Can’t really complain right now all things considered. A home, my bills are paid, family fed, and found love again… real love.
We get knocked down. So what do we do? Get back up. Even if we’re hurting, barely able to walk or stand, get up. Find help, find the crutch you need. I know it’s hard. Especially with the obstacles that appeared along the way. But got to do something, say something. Start the healing.
Dancing around the subject is how I was told I handled this at times… and I wouldn’t disagree. But fear, shame, remember? But at this point, what do I have to lose? If you really think about it, there is much to gain. No one knows. Just a select few.
I was a victim of abuse. Groomed and taken full advantage of. The mixture of me being the typical teenager know-it-all who really knew nothing at all fell into a trap. One I just got used to, and finally played along. The Stockholm syndrome was strong. Was. It’s in the past. Time to focus on the future.
“Heaven smiles above me, what a gift here below, but no one knows”
~ No One Knows – Queens of the Stone Age
Photos are by Joel Rosario – All Rights Reserved
Guest Author Bio
Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.
Website: Resound and Rebel