Where do you belong? – LIFE AS A HUMAN

Often I find myself in awkward situations. My social awkwardness and anxiety really takes its toll sometimes. I never had a normal upbringing. Never had a normal young adulthood. Being forced to be an adult when I clearly wasn’t ready.

I feel like I don’t relate, like a square trying to fit into a round hole. Lost and clueless, while everyone around me seems to have their stuff together, to be normal. I’m not normal. Not by a long shot. Or am I?

I struggle. Some days are better than others. Burying things can only take you so far, and I’ve been at the end of the line for a while. But things are looking up… why now? After years of abuse and lingering Stockholm syndrome, things unearth from time to time.

Got to bury it, but bury it for good. It has consumed me… my mind, my body, and has tainted my soul. But it all has to be completely put to rest first so it doesn’t come back. Not so easy.

My mental state was damaged, my physical state was damaged. Both reparable, but it’s a struggle at times nonetheless. Sure I’m not alone, and others may have similar struggles, but I feel alone. Isolated, lost, not knowing what to do.

Help is in order. Self help, help from those willing to get me where I need to go. Where I should be, where I can be. I’m very thankful for my circle, people who care and love me, wanting me to succeed. The love of my life, who I will be marrying soon, my family, and my new family. Just hope I don’t disappoint.

Got to rise. Slay the dragons and demons of the past and even present. Overcome and bury them deep. They will try to resurface, but eradicating them to oblivion from the get-go will keep them down. Develop and keep the armor. Take your place. Belong.

Current listen: Cold – Don’t Belong

“Can you still feel me or did I slip away
A sick man, a monster, broken still today
I can’t explain what happens to me
Caught in the game I’ve always start
I could describe each mistake for you
Tattoo it on my tainted heart”

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Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.