What is it about judgment that makes it so common, and yet, I don’t feel good when doing it! At the same time, we all have made judgments about someone else at some point in our lives.
Have you ever found yourself commenting about the clothes someone is wearing? I bet! I wonder how that makes you feel? Have you ever considered that the more you judge others, the more you judge yourself?
Maybe you don’t do that with clothes, but with other things such as life choices, judgment is society’s norm and not so easy to detect or overcome. One that is really common is parenting styles!
How many times have we judged other parents for certain actions that we think they should do to make their children’s lives better? How they dress, how they discipline, how they bring the kids to school, what they give them to eat…
It can also happen in a professional environment. We judge how others accomplish their goals and for example, as a PR, it’s really easy to start judging your clients. Also, in psychology, we tend to judge based on the life experiences we already have seen or about the theories we know.
You can think that by judging others, you can obtain some other kind of benefit, such as feeling more empowered. It can seem counterintuitive, but Kristina Mand- Lakhiani’ s new book, “Becoming Flawsome“, that launched on July, 10th, 2023, opens a new light on this subject and proves that you can feel better about yourself and your own choices without judging others.
If you think of others as lazy or unmotivated, you could ask yourself: what bothers me about being lazy and unmotivated? It makes us feel better to dive into what is our bother because we can actually do something about it! And changing our inner landscape is far easier!
You might think that makes us vulnerable, but it’s the reverse! It makes you more vulnerable because it makes you think others are not friendly. The book gives us valuable hints on why the more we judge others, the more we create a negative mindset and environment for ourselves.
Also, how to create a supportive mindset for ourselves, where we accept ourselves with our flaws and shortcomings, that we take as opportunities for growth, acceptance, and honesty. Kristina urges us to cultivate acceptance, honesty, and gratitude to create a more supportive mindset for ourselves and those around us in her book, and gives us clues on how to do it!
It’s about building a really strong foundation for self-esteem instead of building from a judging standpoint. Because self-esteem includes embracing those unique parts of ourselves, including what we might think are flaws. Those can turn into opportunities, sometimes, if you don’t judge them and accept them!
Many singers and artists take their flaws and use them in their performances to inspire others to do the same! So-called flaws can be the standpoint for creativity, connection, and success! And it starts with embracing a less judgemental attitude.
Photo used with permission
Guest Author Bio
Olivia Stern, a freelance writer from North Dakota passionate about personal development, psychology, and the nature of our habits and decisions. She covers topics that are currently relevant to her own personal growth journey and features entrepreneurs and creative thinkers that currently inspire her.