Do you think your partner is cheating? While there are signs you can look out for, you don’t want to rely on just those signs. It’s important that you talk about this with your partner, so you two can get to the bottom of what’s really going on. From seeking out advice to writing down your thoughts, there are ways for you to navigate this difficult time. This article discuses what you should do if you think your partner is being unfaithful.
1. Get Tested For STIs
Anyone who’s sexually active should regularly get tested for sexually transmitted infections. With that said, if you think your partner is cheating, getting tested should be a priority. Believe it or not, many STIs don’t have any visible symptoms. Because of that, it can be all too easy to not know you’re infected. That’s why getting tested is so important.
While getting tested can be scary, it’s a necessity and normal. Thankfully, there are ways you can get tested without leaving your home. For example, at-home STI testing is an option. Companies can deliver STI testing kits directly to your front door in discreet packaging. These kits usually include everything you need to take your sample and send it to be tested.
Your results will then be provided virtually. And depending on your results, you’ll be connected with a medical professional who can advise you on treatment options. Getting tested for STIs can be nerve-wracking, but it’s better to know than to be clueless. It also might provide you with the evidence you need to confront your partner, and potentially walk away.
2. Write Down Your Thoughts
It might seem unnecessary, but writing down your thoughts can help you better understand what you’re thinking and why. While there’s a chance your partner is cheating, there’s also a chance you’re jumping to conclusions.
Maybe your partner’s work schedule has picked up, and they’re spending more time away from home. It makes sense you’d think the worst, but that’s why it can be beneficial to write down your thoughts. Research shows getting your thoughts down on paper can keep you from overthinking. You’ll be able to see your thoughts for what they are — sometimes just thoughts.
The sooner you put everything down on paper, the easier it’ll be for you to gain prescriptive and decide on the next steps. Let’s say you plan on confronting your partner. Writing down your thoughts can also help you prepare for that conversation. Instead of leading with emotion and saying anything that pops up in your head, you’ll have an outline of what you want to say.
3. Seek Out Advice
It’s important to remember you don’t have to deal with this alone. If you think your partner is cheating, don’t hesitate to confide in close friends and family. Not only can they offer you support, but there’s power in saying thoughts aloud. In fact, many experts suggest people talk things out, whether big or small, as it has several benefits.
For one, talking can help put your thoughts into perspective. Think about it. How many times has a small issue turned into something catastrophic because you spent the day obsessing over it in your mind? Exactly. Often, things seem bigger and scarier when they only exist in your head. By talking, you’re able to hear what you’re saying and adjust those thoughts.
Saying ideas out loud to your friends and family can also be beneficial, as they may see the situation differently. They may agree with you that your partner is cheating or think you’re being dramatic. Either way, there’s a good chance you’ll leave the conversation with more clarity.
4. Talk To Your Partner
The truth is, you can speculate all day on whether or not your partner is cheating. But it’s better to go directly to the source. While confronting your partner can be uncomfortable, it’s something that needs to happen. With that said, there are ways to go about it that are more effective than others.
For instance, you don’t want to come right out and accuse your partner of cheating. This is especially true if you don’t have any evidence to back up what you’re saying. The last thing you want is to be wrong and ruin the trust between you and your partner. Instead, ease into the conversation by focusing on your own feelings.
You could say, “I feel like your focus may be elsewhere.” This gives your partner an opportunity to either defend themselves or come clean with what’s actually going on. The goal is to avoid sounding accusatory. However, this doesn’t mean you should play nice or pretend like everything is perfect. Be honest and open with how you’re feeling. Even if your partner isn’t cheating, your feelings are valid, and you shouldn’t feel unwanted or unnoticed in your relationship.
5. Decide On What’s Next
After talking to your partner, it’s important you take time to reflect on the conversation before making any decisions. Regardless of what they said, you don’t want to regret anything that you say. Yes, even if your partner admits to cheating. While cheating can be a deal-breaker for some, other couples do their best to get through it.
If your partner admitted to being unfaithful, you might still want to stay in the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with making that decision, but give yourself time to do so. That might mean spending time away from your partner so you can reflect. You should also consider talking it over with friends, family, a therapist, or even with your partner. Just make sure you confide in someone who’s honest and wants the best for you — not someone who lives for drama.
It’s important to remember that your relationship consists of two people: you and your partner. Because of that, it’s crucial you bring your concerns to them, rather than talk behind their back. No one wants to think their partner could be cheating on them. Unfortunately, it happens. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the signs and not be afraid to confront your partner. The tips above can help you prepare to have this difficult conversation.
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Aurora Leah
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