I remember talking to a lady who laughingly told me she had four kids – if you counted her husband.
Growing up, I remember being surrounded by strong women, especially my various aunts who made us kids toe the line. They were short on patience with any lack of respect like backtalk. Maybe they embraced the belief that ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ They certainly dispensed immediate justice to anyone’s kid.
A good example was when I made the cardinal sin of visiting a friend. In those days, you were left to your own devices all day, except for meal times – which were etched into stone.
As I recalled it years later, I never saw it coming… only a blur, really… when at age twelve, I felt the sting of a wet tea towel snapping across my face by my friend’s mad mom. My crime? – interrupting their lunch. It made my skin welt up like it had just been lacerated. The sudden shock of this left me standing stunned – the door shut in my face.
As for any support at home? – nope! However, even if our neighbourhood acted like a ‘global village’ – my mom drew the line at abusive behaviour. Plus, she vehemently defended her family with a fierce temper towards other mothers. But, most families set the example with a ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ type of discipline: so, best not to complain and risk getting punished twice.
What about women dealing with other strong women?
Take for example the quarrel between Tammy Wynette and Hillary Clinton – over Tammy’s song, ‘Stand By Your Man.’
“Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman,
Giving all your love to just one man…
But if you love him, you’ll forgive him…
‘Cause after all he’s just a man”
During a 1992 “60 Minutes” TV interview, when Hillary Clinton defended her support of husband and future President of the United States, Bill Clinton (despite his alleged affair with Gennifer Flowers) she trashed Wynette by saying: “I’m not sitting here some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.”
The backlash was swift and unforgiving – including from Tammy Wynette – who reiterated that “Nowhere does it say be a doormat and let this man walk on you.” Unlike most ego-driven men politicians, Mrs. Clinton apologized… fast! Maybe, she could sense a cosmic tea towel zinging her way. Sometimes, your heart just knows what’s true.
I remember women’s forgiveness much more than any punishment. I’ve seen the genuine hurt and deep disappointment in their eyes. And, it may have been a slow – two steps forward, one step back – journey; but, I believe I’m a better person… a better man. So, that’s my story: I’ve been saved by love.
Someone once told me, “Keep ‘tilting windmills’ especially your own!” I can be myself, but I’m… just a man.
That’s the way I figure it. – FP
As a special note: Some say, regarding the long reign of Queen Elizabeth II, that she had an unparalleled sense of duty… others say to a fault. But, during her June 1997 Royal Tour to Canada, her visiting motorcade passed right through our small town. She looked right at us, but struggled to lower the locked limo window… to more personally wave back. To us, this small gesture showed she cared.
A strong woman, she never asked for the thankless job as monarch, but dedicated her life to it… her leadership becoming intertwined with the role, itself. Plus, she was a global force for peace and stability – highlighted by her reassuring voice and message of hope to millions at Christmas – anxiously received by people of faith, or not.
FP
Photo Credit
Photo is courtesy of the author
First published at fredparry.ca
Guest Author Bio
Fred Parry
Fred Parry lives in Southern Ontario. He is a lover of people and a collector of stories, music, wisdom, and grandchildren. His raison d’etre? “I’m one of those people who believe that if my work serves the common good, it will last; if not, it will die with me. I still believe that’s true.” Fred spent ten years as a columnist for Metroland Media Group – a division of the publishing conglomerate Torstar Corporation.
His book, ‘The Music In Me’ (2013) Friesen Press is also available via Indigo / Chapters.
Blog / Website: www.fredparry.ca
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