She’s pretty, she has a killer body and she lives in a beautiful home that her husband built for her – the faucets in her ensuite bathroom are 24kt gold – seriously?? And she drives a BMW. Whatever.
Those were my first thoughts of Renée after meeting her one day in 1992. They ultimately became my reasons why I wouldn’t like her. She had everything I didn’t. We couldn’t be friends.
But we did become friends. I came to know her as kind, thoughtful and loving and she always laughed at me – even at times when I was the only one that thought I was funny. She was 5 foot nothing and proud of it. She instantly became ‘my little buddy’.
We were soon marvelling at how alike we were – we both had small hands and feet, we both loved Starbucks coffee and we always said “no ice” when we asked for water in a restaurant. We loved to go for walks, and would hike a mountain near her home as often as we could. We shared a love of baking and were always trading recipes. I still get a chuckle when I follow her hand-written chocolate chip ‘cooky’ recipe.
Renée was diagnosed with a type of brain tumor called astrocytoma shortly after we met. I watched, as did others close to her, as she tried every alternative therapy available at the time (the doctors informed her this was not a tumor that would respond to chemotherapy or radiation.) She kept exercising because, as she put it, “I want to look fabulous when I’m on my way out.” She eventually underwent an operation to de-mass the tumor – it bought her a couple more years. She lived her life…around the seizures, the pain meds and the gradual deterioration. She never complained. It just wasn’t her style.
When her diagnosis became known, I wrote and recorded a song for her called ‘Loved So Sweet’. I wrote it from her perspective, hoping to shed a positive light on a sad situation. I’m not sure if I did it that way for her or for me, but in hindsight I think it helped me deal with the reality of her impending death and the anticipatory grief. I would ultimately play the song for her many times; she thought it was beautiful. No surprise – when it came to my music, she was my biggest fan.
Renée died at the age of 33 on December 23rd during The Blizzard of ’96, as it became known. Anyone living in Victoria at the time would remember that particular Christmas and the amount of snow that fell. It was a tough Christmas, but the immobility from the snowfall became a gift of quality time and closeness.
She taught me much in a short time, just by being who she was. Though she was very much a grown woman, I often caught glimpses of the little girl, and her willingness to let that side of her show made me warm to her even more. She humbled me in more ways than one and forced me to grow up. She was the reason I was able to see my envy at the time for what it was. I hated myself for being ‘that kind of person’, and began working through some important personal issues. I vowed I would never again let my own unhappiness and low self-esteem be a factor in how I viewed another.
My friendship with Renée was brief, and at the time I was angry that her life was cut short. I was angry for me too, at having found a friend, only to have her taken away so quickly. But I know our meeting was no accident, and over time, the anger eventually turned to gratitude. I feel so fortunate to have had the time with her that I did. And what I know of her life now that I didn’t know then has only deepened my respect for who she was, her character and her immense strength. There have been many times over the years that I’ve wished we could get together, have coffee and talk…really talk.
It’s July 20th, and today is her birthday – she would’ve been 53 and fabulous. I will take this day to honor her, listen to her song and remember the beautiful woman she was.
Happy Birthday, little buddy xo
Loved So Sweet
In life, and love, there are no promises
the dark and the light will come and go
but I have lived and I have loved so sweet
My hopes and my dreams
where are they now?
The times that we’d share, taken away
but I have lived and I have loved so sweet
Life, and love
two precious gifts I’ve held
the smile in my heart will never fade
‘cuz I have loved, and I have been loved…so sweet
Glenna Renée Williams 1963 – 1996
Photo Credits
Photos by Carol Good – all rights reserved
Thank you for this Carol!
I have no doubt that even though it was a short friendship, you enriched her life as well!
Beautiful story!
Cheers,
Gileeeeee
Thanks Gil…I’d like to think that. Thanks for putting that spin on it, as I’ve never really thought about that all these years. I think now’s the perfect time 🙂
Wow Carol what a amazing story, great full you had such a special relationship with your little buddy.
Thanks for the comment, Brad…I’m grateful too, she was a sweetheart 🙂 Take care…