Which do you think is better?
Destroying your enemy, or transforming that which makes your enemy ‘your enemy’ into something which you no longer care to destroy?
The latter option is better, yes?
I have struggled with this, like we all have. Even in the company of some very loving people (who could not help but make me feel like I was encased in an invisible shield of love and that if one tried to penetrate it, they would be engulfed, thus dismantling any angry or hateful intention inside them), I have often found myself skeptically mocking such concepts – ‘transforming outcomes with heart power…pfffttt…what a steaming heap!’.
Powerful preconceived beliefs, discouragement from ego to accept power from any source other than itself, refusal to relinquish control to that ‘flaky’ heart power stuff, and the conditioning we were born into, have all created a most intense shield against that which lies in the heart, because, ego knows that it has no power when the mind is in the heart.
In this dog eat dog world of giant egos, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Or put another way, the fight is won by the kid with the biggest heart.
While my profound sense of Justice told me to meet evil on the battlefield, so to say, and take it out like trash, my equally if not more profound sense of compassion told me to let evil die on the battlefield waiting for me to show up.
I have been hovering upon the beautiful bridge – that delicate place which connects the mind and the body – in deep meditation; singularly focused on healing, and not fighting. I hover upon this bridge, silently asking for peace so that I can feel something other than the pain. I hover inside, still and composed, upon the bridge which holds me together, despite the call to battle, which rages on either side.
I have been working very deeply on a marriage between these two opposing senses. To see if I could make them both more powerful, while at the same time, accomplish two primary goals, which as it turns out, are the same goal:
1. Transform that which feels Justified anger, rage, mistrust, suspicion, a need for heavy guard, an offensive pre-emptive stance (thank you for your post yesterday Samaya – your honesty brought about my honesty about this most ‘wrestly’ topic), and retaliation against those I have come to believe need a reboot, in me.
2. Transform that which feels Justified anger, rage, mistrust, suspicion and a need for heavy guard, an offensive stance, and retaliation (more often than not, are based on repeating the same story in our heads – a story which by virtue of being played out over and over again, becomes our ‘truth’ – even when it no longer applies), in others.
Because – I’m beginning a sentence with because – by virtue of having transformed our own powerful emotions, we transform others; these two things are one in the same.
In a quantum sense, there is no separation between us; matter is simply energy boiled down. And emotions are energy and become matter, inside of us. What comprises the mind and matter will determine and be determined by the (intention within the) cells’ energy/matter within both.
“We are what we think.”
Believe it or not, memories are stored in our cells. (And I have a theory about why ‘sweating it out’ and why changing the fat to muscle ratio in one’s body causes such drastic emotional reactions…when the mitochondria (cells) breath, they expand and contract, including everything they comprise, which changes the functionality and even the ‘contents’ of the cell…sometimes desperately clinging memories which exist inside (fat) cells (for instance), when they are ‘cleansed’ or changed or transformed, can initially invoke a sense of panic, then elation, and eventually, perfect balance. Same thing goes for cells in the organs, etc.)
In short, negative emotions – ones which linger inside of us – can and will make us sick; and I am talking in both metaphysical and physical terms. They are what can cause people to continue to perceive the ‘outside world’ as a battle ground, because our perception comes from OUR cells. Cling to that one, ego. Cling to the idea that our cells are a matter of energy; energy which is transported all over the metaphysical battleground of the body and mind, bridged by the double carotid, heart sourced pulsing neck.
Our cells talk to us whether we listen or not. If ignored, they can feel rejected and sad and offended and even sound like, ‘Grrrrr! This world has made me this way!!! Fuck you world!!! There’s so much evil and there’s no reason for it!! It’s senseless! I’m going to show you what senseless looks like!!!’
And our attacks become so powerful because the cells are power houses, and without being heard, they will have no one to attack but themselves. If only in our minds, the sound of 10 to the 14th power cells can cause total meltdowns within ourselves.
Because the senselessness of this is very real. And it can serve to make us appear as highly reactive loose cannons with bad judgement, while at the same time, feeding the very senseless processes which made us react in the first place.
So, to transform all the crap inside of us that feels pain, like an amplified version of ‘Mad World’, we must apply an intention to rewrite the script. We have the power to do that.
Which is amazing!
No one else has the power to rewrite another’s script. And the script can be anything you wish.
It is a process, and although it sometimes feels like it takes superhuman strength, endurance and patience to deal with the cellular transformation/healing process, and should not be taken lightly, or with anything other than utter humility, sharp focus and the deepest gratitude for having even accepted the responsibility of rewriting the script, what else are we here to do?
If not to be Superheros? Okay. Optimal or best version of Self.
And the beautiful thing is, although it is a highly personal and solitary process – meditation, deep breathing, focused intention, hard training and soft practice – when one meets the world again after having repeatedly made the journey into one’s cells and back (which is a process that must be repeated as many times as it repeats the old patterns, until the old patterns have been rewritten, which can be done in one single epic moment, or in many, many years of epic moments, which is kind of better in a way), one’s sense of ‘fuck you world!!!’ will have been dampened, if not dismantled.
The battlefield becomes quiet. The dust settles. The pain dissipates. The ‘loud’ demands become like a sigh. Like a call has been answered. Like the cells have healed. Like the heart isn’t just pumping in vain, throbbing like hammers in the connector and the head and body, but with calm, even purpose. To stay healed.
The power that the ‘crap’ has over us becomes diminished, but power/energy can’t be destroyed – only transmitted or transformed – so it then rests with us. To do with it whatever we wish.
And the power feed can feed either ego again – the ‘big bad wolf’ of old conditioning and false beliefs – or, it can feed the creation of new connective tissues between cells. Better communication, faster healing, new neural networks, a sound mind and an optimally functioning body.
The effects of choosing creates ‘a new inner world’. The ramifications of this affect the outside world (or at least, how one perceives it). Choosing a better world – to create better and more connections both inside and outside the Self – affects everyone around you, and is the most powerful ‘weapon’ in the battle who’s only purpose is to keep fighting.
By doing nothing other than rewriting your old script to something more relevant, meaningful, sustaining and joyful, the script is rewritten in time. For everyone. Forever.
And I have to say, although joy is something I ‘get’ more than some, perhaps because the demons in my cells have collected and fed off ages of bile that I never asked for or wanted to read or interpret as ‘my script’, the depth of this realization – as a rewrite of cellular coding within me, by virtue of even having truly grappled with it – has made me a better writer.
Ask your cells when you are in meditation, ‘Anyone in pain? Okay okay! Hold up! Too much noise! Too much chattering! Too much buzzing. So much chatter. Okay okay…lots of pain…A couple minutes in…oh man…so uncomfortable. My legs hurt. Who sits like this?! Ugh. My mind won’t stop chattering. When will the no thinking thing set in? Ah man, maybe it just did but I was too busy thinking about it to notice. Sigh. Deep breathe in. Hold for 7 seconds. Deep breath out.
Go again.
See a flower with your third eye. See every detail in the colour, the shape, the smell, the layers. See it vividly. Nope – don’t get distracted. Seriously ego! I don’t want to think about why so-and-so is acting weird towards me…I don’t want to run around with stupid shit that’s probably all in my head anyway…deep breath in. Hold for 7 seconds. Deep breathe out.
Go again.
Same place you left off. Stay there as long as you can.
When it’s quiet, you’ve accessed your third eye, and in your mind’s eye, you can hear and feel the Super Natural Hero rhythm of your beating heart, like that flower you were just visualizing.
This is the time to ask again. Ask your cells, the pain, the shield, the Heart; ‘How can I serve you?’ over and over again.
The Heart serves us every moment of every day. We must honour that process by returning the favour.
You Heart is the source of it all. It knows everything about you. It knows every solution, and the code to unlocking every cell. To make them optimally functional and healthy again – as they felt before we felt we had to choose to feed the big bad wolf idea.
You might hear a shrinking sound and no reply. You might feel like your whole body is under attack – the ego will vehemently defend its right to stay in control, attacking even the mind that it lives in, in a vain attempt to ‘win’ gain and maintain control over our perception of power, the Self and the world we live in.
Keep breathing. The panic, anxiety and doubt get lost in the breath. Breathe until it settles. It will. You are in control of how your heart chooses to beat. You control the breath. And by you, I mean the coding inside the cells which makes you, you. These cells which comprise us are designed to settle into the most ‘comfortable’, best bonded, best connected, most stable state.
So, which do you think is better?
Destroying your enemy, or transforming that which makes your enemy, ‘your enemy’ into something which you no longer care to destroy?
The truth is painful at first. It will continue to rear as ‘fear’. But do not fear. Simply listen to it.
The only enemy is that which is ignored (within the Self). The cells which hold memories like any dear innocent child, only wish to be heard and to hear a better story. Told not from the mind, but from the heart.
Fear, hate, doubt, fighting, even winning and losing – these concepts do not live in the heart. And the heart is a place where the most stable state is found. Not just as ideas, but as real deal perfect love, perfect trust, balance and optimal well-being.
Mind over Matter? Nay. Mind as matter.
Photo Credit
Photo by Mary Rose – All Rights Reserved
Please Share Your Thoughts - Leave A Comment!