Tarmac Meditations #156: Where the White Wind Blows

Where the wind blows

I came across this piece of writing on Facebook. I copied it because it resonated with me. Foolishly, I clicked away after that and could not find it again to give proper credit to the writer. My apologies. It struck me as a familiar and well written thought about living with age and infirmity. My own journey has become a crooked highway littered with seemingly small diagnoses that over time began to coalesce into some pretty big deals for me to confront. Strokes, three in number in six months, atrial fibrillation and its consequent care, during which I sustained a serious upper respiratory infection, all led to an episode of congestive heart failure from which I am now recovering.

Sounds bad, does it not? In reality it’s only “what it is” and there is stuff I can do to “keep on keepin’ on.” Better diet, good exercise, lots of walking, proper care and feeding of my recently more present soul. Which leads me back to running, the cathedral of my own making where much of who I have become was formed and sustained.

“It’s a combination of deep acceptance and a recognition that things are not, physically, going to improve. And the discouragement that goes hand in hand with that, that is often difficult for me to admit… And I couldn’t go forward, couldn’t go backward. I couldn’t do anything. And it felt like: ‘Well, I guess this is it then. It’s all done….’

“So there was a fine bench facing the ocean and I decided to do what I could, to just sit. Sit completely still until forever came.”

I know this bench whereof he speaks; I have used it on a different day to the same end. Simply put, whether metaphorical or literal, when it feels like like end of things. Maybe the best thing to be done is to sit down and wait for what comes next; in every battle it is necessary to find your way from where you are to where you want and need to be. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes not. So I took this photograph.

“Where the white wind blows
I have been.”

Image Credit

Photo by Michael Lebowitz. All rights reserved.

Recent Michael Lebowitz Articles:

• Tarmac Meditations #205: Images in the Sunrise
• Tarmac Meditations #204: Images From the Road - Smoke Risin'
• Tarmac Meditations #203: Images From the Road
• Tarmac Meditations #202: Images From the Road
• Tarmac Meditations: Haiku # 42