Jake Roberts is an alcoholic. He began drinking at the age of 16 and loved it from the start. For him it was the first time he felt like he fit in. Alcohol gave him the ability to be himself without having to worry about what others were thinking and he loved the feeling of being numb to his emotions. From the beginning, Jake’s drinking was dangerous, as it always resulted in vomiting or blacking out. But for him it was fun, free, liberating, and even gave him a sense of purpose in life.
At the age of 19, Jake thought he was sober for a time; however, looking back he realizes he may not have been as in control as he thought. Years later in treatment, he wrote about his drug and alcohol use and realized he had been manipulating and lying to himself by insisting he didn’t have a problem.
The drinking lead to drug use and more drinking and soon something that started as a weekend activity turned into an everyday occurrence. Jake even found himself in legal trouble, but did not realize he had a problem until after getting married. At that point, Jake was determined he wanted to quit drinking, but he could not stop.
Soon, everything around him started to crumble from his marriage and family to his job. His wife would even tell him if he loved her he wouldn’t drink. There was nothing Jake cared about as much as his wife and their marriage, but he still could not quit drinking and he could not explain why. Things worsened and eventually his marriage dissolved. What used to be fun was now miserable and he spent the next few years not wanting to live anymore. Though he had two children from his marriage and everything to live for, the desire to stay alive had left him. This all took place about seven years before he was able to figure out there might be a way for him to receive help.
Jake never wanted to go into treatment because of his long held belief that he was ok. In reality, he was afraid of being without alcohol, because this was how he had learned to fix every problem he had ever had. Finally, his constant state of drunkenness pushed his mother to threaten to have his kids taken away from him. Not only was he a danger to himself, but to them as well. This was the moment Jake decided he needed help outside of himself and asked his family to help him.
They discussed treatment centers and his brother offered to get him in touch with a connection he had at a more financially feasible center. However, Jake’s mother had found another treatment center and he decided to give them a call before making his decision. A counselor answered the phone and as soon as he heard the voice on the other line he had no doubt in his mind this was where he was supposed to be. It was the clearest thing he had ever felt and at the time his emotions were incredibly numb due to the drugs and alcohol. He does not remember a lot from that time of his life, but this he remembers clearly. It was the strongest confirmation. This is where he needed to be.
When Jake entered treatment, the driving force for him was finding that comfort. Immediately upon entering the treatment center he felt and knew he was loved. In fact, he tells a story of a rather intimidating looking man approaching him and instead of getting punched, as he expected, being hugged by the man and told he loved him. This was all new to him. He was very emotional and unstable, with a lot of raw emotions to work through. The counselors and brothers at the treatment center offered Jake love and understanding, as they had been in the same place where he was. It was helpful for him to be able to relate to someone he could see was now physically and emotionally stable, giving him hope for recovery. The treatment center also offered a space where Jake was able to be himself without being ashamed of who he was or what his past included. He found acceptance and love in treatment and the structure he needed in aftercare. He did not know how to stay sober, yet the outpatient treatment was able to provide him the education on how to do so.
Looking back, Jake remembers how miserable and suicidal he was before he sought treatment. Having lost so much due to alcohol, he knows that without sobriety he can lose everything. More than anything, he has gained an inner peace he never had before. Today, Jake loves life and looks forward to each new day. He has found himself thinking more about others than himself and is amazed at the differences he sees in his life today. He has a relationship with his children, he has friendships inside and outside of the treatment center he still regularly visits, and through these has found a love and companionship he did not have before. It is a daily challenge he still has to work on, but he sticks to it. He really wants to be happy and have peace.
To those who are suffering from alcoholism, but have yet to seek treatment, he warns it only worsens and progresses. If you have any question as to whether you are an alcoholic, Jake recommends talking to an alcoholic, going to an AA meeting, and seeking help at a treatment center. There is guidance, structure, sobriety, peace, and love to be found.
Watch this video or click here to hear Jake’s story firsthand.
Photo Credit
Photo is from fotolia
Guest Author Bio
Alyssa Craig
Alyssa Craig is a Salt Lake City native who loves hiking in the mountains, running, frozen yogurt, and quick wit. She is a professional writer and loves perusing the many posts in the blogosphere. In her free time, you can find her escaping the world on her hammock or watching re-runs of “Friends”.
Recent Guest Author Articles:
- Home Is Where the Health Is: Simple Shifts for a Happier You
- Why Speed and Reliability Matter for Business Connectivity
- How Does Ultrasound Therapy Enhance Skin Firmness Without Surgery?
- From License to Lifestyle - How State Choice Impacts Nursing Journeys
- Your Online Reputation Is Everything (Here's How to Build It Fast)
Please Share Your Thoughts - Leave A Comment!