A Journey to Spirit #16: Red Blood Runs Deep

We seemed to be connected by something far more magical than love alone.

We spent every waking and sleeping moment together when he was in town. We loved, and laughed, talked and giggled and journeyed deep into each other’s lives. I learned how his x-wife had left him for another man and how she raked him over the coals on her way out of town on the back of his Harley. He learned about my past marriages and how love had always betrayed me. I learned he was a hard worker, strong, smart and capable. He learned I’d been a single parent for many years and how my son had paid a price for not having a man in his life. I learned he was private and kept his emotions deep and how much he respected Mother Nature. He learned eventually, how much I loved him, and that I’d do anything for him. I learned about the veil, that thin wall of separation that kept him just above loving me. I tried to understand and made plenty of excuses for why he’d never quite fall for me completely. If the veil did anything at all, it certainly kept me in wondering and waiting.

And some strange and wonderful things happened, things I couldn’t really explain. The first instance was early on when he introduced me to his mother who we found sitting in her pick-up at the mall one day. All he said to her was my name, and she took a short look at me and said, “Hmm, takes one to know one.” She smiled knowingly, nodding her head up and down and then she winked at Robert. Later, when I asked him what she meant, he said, “She saw the red blood in you.” Now, I have First Nations in me, but man, I was only a sixteenth. How would she know that?

Then something else happened. Robert was a commercial diver and spent chunks of time out of town during the fishing season. My heart ached when he was gone and life settled down into an ordinary routine until he returned. One night, as if invited, he visited me in my dream. The forest was such a vivid spectacle of greens and blues. I could smell the pine and feel the wind. It was the kind of dream that you wake up from with the emotion still lingering inside. In the dream I asked him to call me because I needed to hear his voice. The next day he called ship to shore, which by the way, I didn’t even know he could do. On the call, before I had said anything, I heard, “You told me to call.”

Yup, I was shocked too, but things like this happened over and over again. We could talk about the dreams and we could corroborate something in each one. It was spooky but natural, as if our relationship had been forged by the cosmos and we were connected by the stars. But wait, there was more.

Robert had been out of town working and not due back for another week. I was driving down a long stretch of highway and approaching a corner about a half mile away. An incredible feeling washed over me and the thought that he was driving toward me filled my chest. Somehow I just knew he was around that corner ahead. And next thing I know, there he was, the old Ford truck rumbling toward me. He had felt it too. This happened at least a half dozen times and got to the point where we began to expect it. The magic was undeniable.

How does someone understand something like this? Was it super-natural? Were these psychic messages? Were our Elders helping? What was happening? We could finish each other’s sentences. We knew ahead of time how we liked something like coffee or pizza or a haircut. He knew when I was cold before I said it. I knew when he was leaving before he told me. We had to have been soul mates through and through, joined for many lifetimes, good and bad, here and there, and it felt like we had been together forever. There could be no other explanation and we both felt it inside.

And there were times when he hurt me. I broke up with him at least twice in two years because he had a woman over to his house for dinner, or because I started to suspect he had girlfriends in every port from the stories he would recant when he’d come home from fishing. It was so hard, but we could never stay away from each other. At least I couldn’t, and I kept letting him come back.

Our first year together was the best of my entire life and I still recall the way he made
me feel. But we were a mystery. Our story stretches out behind me like a sad movie… until one day when I’d come to understand it all.

….to be continued

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All photos @ 123rf Stock Photos

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