An epic battle is coming to a head between Frackenstein, the human experiment gone wrong, and Ra, the all-mighty sun deity. But it’s not a combat of tanks and artillery. It’s a World War Frack (WWF) showdown— a legit one.
Tension has been building up for years across the entire country while the Natural Resources Defence Council (NRDC) promotes the WWF to millions of fans polarized between the environmental face and economical heel of the fracking industry. The current villain, Frackenstein, entered the WWF as the de facto champion by quietly wooing a strong following with the promise of sizable royalties.
And now the money match plays out in sunny California, home to millions of Ra worshipers and the latest battlefield in the Frack Wars.
The contenders and their entourage pour into the stadium. The fans hiss and cheer. The president takes centre stage and invites the competitors into the ring.
In the north corner we have Frackenstein— cracked, patched, flanked by his corporate legal team and backed by his political lobbyists. In the south corner, we have Ra— intense, resplendent in glitter, and looking HOT, pretty darn hot, with her loyal crew of stewards.
The usual ring rats of politicians, fossil fuel industry CEOs, and plastic fashionistas are sitting in the front row right behind the defending champion, but the challenger has no such groupies. The selfless sun shares her wealth with everyone, regardless of race, sex, religion, sexual preference, and social status.
The superstars get their last pep talk before the bell.
Ra has her work cut out for her.
Frackenstein is a cheat who avoids more seasoned competitors, with his enforcer (an ex homeland security director) willfully running interference to disqualify the heel so that he may maintain the championship title while only busting open at the surface from time to time. Although a closet champion, Frackenstein is no paper champion.
Ra, on the hand, is green and as such suffers from lack of experience in the ring but let ye not underestimate the power of the sun. In her home state she is the heroine, the bright star of a sustainable future. The main draw here tonight in golden California is definitely Ra. Her fans have traveled thousands of miles just to absorb her energy, many of whom have left their gas lands in the north east to show their support.
Our shinning goddess may have lost several matches to Frackenstein’s famous finisher— personally discrediting anti-fracking advocates such as documentary directors— but in reality she has been over-selling the flat back bumps from her opponent to lull him into a false sense of security.
The previous match ended up in a screwjob, once again. That time it was the Governor who ran interference for the Frackenstein team over the last 2 of a dozen fracking-related bills. Today, the question which remains in the minds of WWF fans everywhere as the crowd jeers the heel and cheers the face is…
Are we going to have a clean match?
Round 1 begins …
Photo is by Californians Against Fracking – All Rights Reserved