Dolphins are very smart creatures with empathy, heroism, and not an insignificant amount of playfulness. We have much to learn from our dear ocean friends.
When my electrons start popping, I want to transmute into a dolphmaid so that I can swim with the dolphins and help humans understand the complexities of our water world. All the secrets of our oceans lie behind the soulful eyes of our big-hearted mammalian cousins and humanity cannot speak their language. A dolphmaid is the perfect solution to our inter-species disconnect and ultimately to our climate woes.
A dolphmaid could be the key translator between the two most intelligent species on the planet. Who holds the number one position is a matter of opinion, so let’s welcome them into the United Nations with President Dolphmaid as their representative. And what a grand entrance this amphibious president would make at the UN Summit on Climate Change!
President Dolphmaid arrives in her very own Mercedes-Benz M-Class DolphmaidMobile filled with water and sporting a couple of side tanks for her bodysharks.
She gets more press than the FEMEN movement for she has no qualms about baring it all to speak her mind on the sexual exploitation of fish and mammal body parts for potions, corporate dictatorships that suppress the rights of ocean creatures, and the religion of money, power, and greed.
She packs a wicked face slap, but don’t mistake that for turning tail. A dolphmaid stands her water and comes right back at you.
The procession enters the building where the summit takes place. A huge aquarium is filled with all the human leaders in scuba masks attached to one big oxygen tank via tubes. Yes. Only scuba masks. It’s time for our leaders to reconnect with their life source— water.
The DolphmaidMobile drives up a big ramp by the side of the tank and President Dolphmaid springs out of the roof hatch and splashes into the aquarium below. The bodysharks of course are dismissed as a measure of good faith, lest they bite off a few human “fins”.
Hours of negotiations unfold.
Do we listen and act this time? Do we require of President Dolphmaid stacks of scientific studies so that we land-dwellers can spend years debating? Or do we listen carefully to the wisdom of the dolphins through their UN representative?
What about a protest? Would that work? Dolphins can’t sign petitions on paper or online. How would they stir up a little Hulla-b-lue?
I imagine it would look something like this…
And maybe they would travel up the coast with their message and it would look like this…
Is the 1000 strong pod looking for fish? It is swimming away from something we cannot see? Or are the dolphins looking for that one person who can understand them and care?
Perhaps this person is you.
Mermaid Dolphin by Stuntcat