Let’s be real, no one wants to be in along distance relationship (LDR).
Well, I’ve got news for everyone: you can do a long distance relationship, and it’s not that bad. Any good, healthy relationship requires three main components; trust, respect, and communication. I would argue that communication is the most important of these three things. As more people are embarking on LDRs they’re finding that being anywhere from one hour, fourteen hours, or 10 different countries apart will put some serious stress on any well intentioned couple.
When I met D in Seattle at the end of summer 2010, and I fully intended to have a summer fling with him and send him back to Utah to never see him again. Unfortunately, he turned out to be unexplainably awesome and I fell super hard super fast. Even though he was great, as he moved back to Utah I was still skeptical about how long things would last and if he was worth the pain and emotional stress of a LDR. I heard my own voice ringing through my head, “I could just never do a long distance relationship,” I had said so many times to other friends. Well, here I am two years later finished with college, working a fabulous job, and living in Salt Lake City instead of Seattle.
This is not how I envisioned my life going, and I can say with 5000% certainty that I would not be where I am today if I had been with out a few essential technologies.
1 – Snail Mail
So, I usually imagine romantic LDRs being between a man and woman separated by war. Usually they write each other deliciously sappy love letters until the man either dies heroically, or they’re reunited and live happily ever after. Fortunately, snail mail, a somewhat out-dated technology, still exists. For those of you wondering how to keep things cute when you’re a million miles away I’ve got three great solutions: overnighted fresh baked cookies, cute letters with your perfume sprayed on them, and packages filled with “survival goodies” for when the other person is having a tough week. Snail mail may be an ‘outdated’ technology, but either direction the letter is going, it makes the recipient feel loved and more connected for a day or two. Letters are especially great because, if you fail a test and need a hug, you obviously can’t get one, but you can read your old letters and feel a little bit better that at least you’ve got a nice boyfriend, even if your GPA sucks.
2 – Good Internet
What do I mean by “good” internet? I mean, you have 15 roommates, and you can still Skype. Because, uh… the boys down stairs hogging all your bandwidth to play xbox live really don’t understand that you just want to see your boyfriends face not pixelated for, like, 5 minutes. Exceptional internet also assures high quality chats, easy photo sharing, and the possibility to watch the same show on Hulu together in different states. Verizon FiOS is definitely a superior product, though it’s not available everywhere. It promises high speeds at peak hours of the day, and reassures needy Skypers that the faces of their loved ones will show up clearly, even with roommates. I cannot stress enough the beauty, and necessity of Skype for staying in touch and keeping tabs on your boyfriends unruly mustache.
3 – A Smart Phone
While you can probably get by with a phone equipped with photo-taking abilities, it really is better to have a smart phone. The beauty of a smart phone is that you become a resource for each other. Not only can you share photos, videos, voice files, and track each others exact location, you can almost ‘hang out’ together. You can send emails containing links, documents, stupid things your mom says, etc. to your boo while you’re busy without missing a beat. You can play games together: Words With Friends (using only dirty or bad words) was one of our favorites. A smart phone allows you to communicate like a normal couple, and helps you forget about the distance while building a fun friendship with the other person at the same time.
For me what made my LDR work was the promise that it would be over someday, and we would live a hell of a lot closer. A screen shot from my iPhone of where exactly I was on my drive as I moved between states was the greatest moment of this relationship for both of us. “I am in the middle of nowhere, but it’s exactly 852.65 miles away from you, and this long distance bull shiz is almost over!!”
Using snail mail, the best internet I could find, and buying an iPhone, helped us plan, prepare, and discuss the details of making this happen. I think investing in devices and services what improve your communication give your LDR a real fighting chance.
Being in love with someone who has to be far away bites, but with some assistance from our beautiful world of technology, I really believe it’s do-able …because I’ve done it.
Photo Credits
Long Distance Relationship – Some rights reserved by Morning Calm News On Flickr
Google Map Image – Provided By Hannah N.
Guest Author Bio
Hannah N.
Hannah is a 22 year old Western Washington University graduate, specializing in technology, adventure, and all things marketing. She is a writer for Deals.ServiceBundles.com and loves exploring the newest social media sites to find the best possibilities for customer interaction. Follow her on twitter at @hongryhannah, and thanks for reading!
Great post, Hannah. I agree that communicaton is the most important factor for keeping a LDR alive and healthy; even with all the wonderful technology in the world today, if one party is unwilling or unable to communicate, the thing just ain’t going to work. I am currently in my second LDR (yes, even old farts learn slowly); the first failed primarily because of poor communication, the second is succeeding spectacularly because of excellent communication. We not only talk every day (thank you, Tango, thank you, FaceTime) we talk honestly and openly abouit everything.
I am sure your story is going to help many people in LDRs, and congratulations on the success of your own LDR.
Hey Ross! Thanks for the kind words. LDRs are so scary, but you’re right, as long as each party is fully committed and honest they can be fabulous! Good luck to you! 🙂