Today let’s talk about come here, go away.
Do you ever let people get close, and then it feels like they’re too close, and you push them away?
I have done that a lot, and would even create fights with someone right after we had gotten close. I would have a special evening with my girlfriend, watching a movie we both really wanted to see, and by the end of the evening, I would create a scene about something insignificant, and storm off. Like the song says “sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much, and I have to run and hide for a while.” I had to realize that not everyone was dangerous or threatening, and someone wanting to get to know me better didn’t mean they wanted to hurt me. Learning to let people close without hyperventilating has been very freeing for me.
Have you ever pushed people away when you began to feel uncomfortable?
Photo Credit
Microsoft Office Clipart Collection
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
The podcasts of these episodes can be found at: Minute to Freedom
Yeah, this is the stroy of my life. Ive had friends of mine who have told me in that as much fun as I am and as many great times we have all had together, they really dont know me on a deep level. I never understood that until now. Im learning that many of my shortcomings in life all lead back to growing up in a volatile household. Heck, my own father through his sobriety and drunkeness would pull me in close and then push me away. Ive grown up with it.
Im now thankful that I have a place where I can go and people to talk to that can help me get through this. God bless ACoA
Steven –
I have been equally elusive when getting close to people. Wonderful that you have the outlet of ACoA. I’ll say this – I continue to return to that resource because it explains my buffet of character defects in a way that nothing else has, and gives me a way to escape from those dysfunctional relating methods. You’re definitely onto a path that will lead to astonishing results! 🙂