I gasped for air, blinked my eyes; my heart skipped several beats as he said the words, “We should date other people!” In other words, “WE” as I knew it no longer existed! It seemed to come from nowhere as the scalpel ever so gently cut deep, and yet here it was looking me straight in the face. In five words, I was taken off life support and I was single again…no longer in a monogamous relationship…but now a “free agent.” A free agent who felt as though she was in a catatonic state, debilitated but no paralyzed.
So I did what any warm-blooded, attractive, single woman would do…I pulled up my strapless bra, adjusted my mini-skirt and said, “To Hell with Him!”
I said it with such fierceness that I actually believed it, or did I? I vowed to see as many “other” people as possible and to wash that man right out of my hair. I immediately summoned all my girlfriends to begin the search to fill up my calendar that was once full of “US.” I had to not only fill up the days of long leisurely lunches and hour-long chats, but the night escapades of eating cereal and reading books in bed. He and I would go on to be separate identities, no longer a couple.
I cringed to think of having to go through the “interview” phase of dating again as it was so exhaustive and perplexing to understand the male species. But, as they say, there is no time like the present and so the quest began.
I was fortunate to have girlfriends that knew my criteria in men, so I was immediately charmed to find the ice cream store full of different varieties and possibilities. Wasting no time, three eligible flavors (bachelors) were vying for my attention.
I was first introduced to Ken, a real estate agent, who told me on our first date that he was in love with my eyes. And then there was James, the school teacher, who quizzed me on the latest books I read. Finally, there was Carl, the personal trainer who worked out my mind and my body.
I was in seventh heaven until they each began to question my intentions. Why couldn’t I commit to them and be in a one-on-one relationship … and with fine precision I replied, “I want to date other people.”
Photo Credit
“206/365 Faceless Bunny and Kitty” helgasms! @ Flickr.com. Some Rights Reserved
Recent Phyllis Wilson Articles:
- Dear Wayne
- What Is Your Greatest Strength?
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- Have You Checked In With The Person In The Mirror Lately?
- Soul Food
Thanks for this Phyllis!
I have been thinking about this very issue a lot lately. I am exploring the interaction between living my vision of success and where a romantic relationship fits in with this vision. Maybe boyfriends are overrated but I think a big part of our visions as women should include our relationships…mainly, do they help sustain us or do they hinder us? I recently explored some of these issues and whether or not single successful women are judged differently than single successful men in a blog post entitled “George Clooney v. Oprah & Beatrix Potter: Have we really come a “long way” ”
I would love your input and that of your readers at my blog The Vision Quest Chronicles http://www.cuttsconsulting.com/blog/
Keep exploring,
Nicole Cutts, Ph.D.
CEO Cutts Consulting, LLC & Vision Quest Retreats
Very thought provoking….Why does the phrase, “Do unto others as they have done unto you”, come to mind…
Ayanna,
that is so profound and right on point! only I think your changing of the wording added more panache!
Thanks for the comment!