I was in a car wreck today.
My daughter Turtle and I were headed to the beach and I was getting ready to turn on to the road that goes to M Dam. I was waiting for oncoming traffic and there was a car behind me. Turtle, as always, was strapped in her car seat, reading a book.
I felt the hit and looked in the mirror when I realized that the woman behind me had been hit and was shoved into me. The woman who caused the wreck was probably going 35 miles and hour. I remember hearing the squealing tires and the gut-wrenching sound of breaking glass that gets etched in your brain once you’ve been in an accident (This is the third I’ve been in, none of them were my fault.).
I pulled forward into a parking lot, the lady behind me did the same and the offender pulled off to the opposite side of the road. I undid my belt and spun around to check on Turtle. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine and asked what happened. I said we were in a car wreck. She said why and I told her “Some idiot was not paying attention.” I was livid the person had put my daughter in danger.
Once I knew Turtle was safe, I got out of the car and looked for the driver of the offending car. The person stayed inside and huddled down in their seat. I yelled across the highway, “My baby was in that car!” I was so pissed! The person huddled down further. I got back in the car.
People were immediately at my window, telling me they saw the whole thing and would be a witnesses. They asked if I was okay. I said yes, but I was pissed because my baby is in the car. They asked if she was okay. I said yes. I told someone to call the police, they said that they had, and then i did. My heart was racing and I was trying not to cry. I dialed 911 and then didn’t talk when they answered. I actually hung up on them. the police had arrived.
He went to the offender’s car first, then to me and then to the lady behind me. He got all our information and went back to his car. I kept checking on Turtle, she said she wanted out, I asked the police officer if I could let her out. he said yes. I let her out, and she sat next to me in the backseat and we read a book together. My hands were shaking. Turtle and I talked and then she ran around the van, being silly.
I watched as a truck pulled up and a young man, went to the offenders car, and helped them out. It was an elderly lady. She had oxygen on. I was even madder. The man, I assume, was her son. He put her in his truck and a tow truck pulled up and hauled her car away, the front was completely shoved in and probably totaled. I watched them haul it off and silently said to myself: “Karma, bitch.” I don’t consider myself a mean person normally; in fact, I think I’m pretty loving. But all I could feel for this woman was seething anger. I wanted to yell at her at the top of my lungs, all lunatic like.
I watched the son speak to his mother, and then he ran across the street and asked the officer which car she hit. The policeman showed him, and the son went and apologized to the lady behind me. Then he took off back to his truck, got in and drove away.
Pretty soon the policeman brought my stuff back and said we could go. I strapped Turtle back in, and went to the drivers seat. He stayed at my window and explained the police report to me. He said: “I’m glad you are both always strapped in, if she hadn’t been, she would have flown through that window.” Without trying to, that image flashed in my head and I burst into tears. My god, I was grateful she was safe. Then he said he was glad she hadn’t hit us directly, or we could have been worse off. I knew Tunkasila had kept us safe but also had placed that car between us as a buffer. The lady in the car behind me was not turning — she was simply stopped behind me, as I was waiting to turn.
Turtle is completely unscathed. When I was done telling her what happened, I asked her if she was okay, she said “I’m fine. Let’s go to the beach now.”
I am temporarily scarred emotionally and in pain physcialy. I have whiplash and my body is going to be crying hysterically tomorrow. But THE MOST important thing is, Turtle was not hurt. My world would end of something happened to Turtle. I did what every mother is supposed to and wants to do for their child. Take the pain for them. I have moved from being enraged at the woman who hit us, to wanting to sue her, to now feeling a bit sorry for her. I’d still VERY MUCH like an apology. 
The good new is, she had excellent insurance, so she will be paying for the damages to my van, minimal though they may be. She will also be footing my ER bill. Hours later, I do genuinely feel sorry for her, I don’t know what she was going through, or how horrible she must feel for doing this. Perhaps this day will haunt her for a long time.
I know three things for sure: ONE: I’m writing to Dodge to witness that their 5-star rating is real in a crash. My van is a Dodge Grand Caravan, and the lady immediately behind me was in a Dodge Caravan. Both of our cars suffered minimal damage. TWO: I’m writing a Public Service Announcement on WHY it is VITAL for babies/children to be strapped into car seats. And THREE: Tunkasila* was looking out for us so well. I’m so grateful, it makes me cry. I’m so grateful that he kept the most treasured thing in my life safe and sound.
*In the Lakota creation legends, Tunkasila made all of Creation, and woman and man, and taught humans to be a good stewards of all of Creation.
Photo Credits
All Photo courtesy of Mary Black Bonnet
MIcheal,
i’m so sorry to hear that, I am glad you are safe, and I hope you get to feeling better, your life is hard enough right now. You are in my prayers.
i seriously think cell phones should be outlawed while driving in every state.
So glad you are safe. Love and miss you MBB
Hi Mary,
I’m glad you and Turtle are okay. I just experienced this recently myself. It’s not a pleasant experince to stop and have someone slam into the back of your car. I heard that squeel of tire on the pavement and tensed up. The guy that hit me was talking on his cell phone when he hit me. He didn’t tell the police that I’m sure. He said he swerved to miss someone else and then saw me. I went to the hospital to get checked out. That was on the 7th of September. My back still hurts and I’m going to Doc Curtis in Edwardsburg. All it takes is some idiot not paying attention. It really does affect how you feel. Though I’ve been in a few more accidents than you it still changes you.
Kerry,
MY GOD!! How terrifying and angering! I”M so glad you and your daughter are okay!!!
Tiger mama’s is right! What became of it?
Larry, I’m sorry I missed the symposium. It is on my calendar to apply next year, hell or high water.
Margaret,
that is scary! I am glad that wreck didn’t involve more people, it certainly could have! I”m so glad you are safe, we usually think that our seats/seat belts will keep us safe, one never considers the fact that it might break too!
As far as the whiplash advice went, yes, thank you, it was helpful!
Thank you all for reading! love to you all, xoxox
Mary, so glad you and Turtle are ok!!
I was rear ended a few years back, my car was completely totalled and written off. The guy was on a cell phone in a shiny new pickup truck. No sound of screeching tires at all. He came out of nowhere and just drove right into me as I waited for a pedestrian to cross the street. Sound of broken glass, the back windshield came out, roof crinkled, back caved in. The seat I was in came off, my sunglasses broke, etc., etc. When the impact happened, I remember having presence of mind enough to shove my foot onto the brake as I was pushed into the oncoming traffic. On another level, I also remember telling myself to” surrender to the moment.” To this day give thanks that my children weren’t in the car with me, and that I didn’t hit the pedestrian. As regards whiplash, the doc said “keep moving.” Best advice, otherwise you stiffen up.
Margaret
OMG! Glad you are safe!
Great turnout for the Symposium. One of the panelists, C. Maxx, stayed with us. 200 pieces of frybread were done on Joani’s stove.
Mary, I completely relate to the anger you felt. At moments like these we realize how fragile life is. An old lady once pulled into a parking spot in front of a bakery where I was sitting with my daughter and her friend. She didn’t stop at the kerb. She just kept driving into our picnic bench and pushed it across the sidewalk. have never been so furious at another human being. If her bumper had been two inches higher she would have broken one of the kids’ backs. And she didn’t even know she hit anything. She denied it and went to get her hair done while i waited for the police.
I am so glad you and Turtle are ok. I often feel this ferociousness is like the mother tiger. This is when our instinct kicks in…and boy, does it ever!