If 99% of the world’s religions are to be believed, the lion’s share of our strange, bittersweet journey on this earth is a quest in learning how to live right. Kind of backwards, isn’t it? Here we are, marvels of bio-kinetic technology, cracked out of the box in mint condition – only to spend the next eighty or so years writing our own user manuals.
And it’s true, some of the lessons are hard. Staying calm in the face of adversity? Giving boldly and fearlessly of yourself at the risk of catastrophic hurt? Figuring out what you want to do and then doing the heck out of it? These aren’t exactly intro-level courses.
Then again, some of the stuff we need to do to be decent people seems pretty straightforward. In my time so far, here are the meager lessons I’ve worked out:
If someone comes to you in tears, comfort them. Whether you’re best friends, siblings, or just two strangers standing in an elevator, it’s the right thing to do. Even if you end up making fun of them to your co-workers later, for just this moment? Look ‘em right in the eye and tell them, “Dude, I’m sorry to hear that. That really sucks.” You never know what small moment of humanity is going to turn someone’s life around.
Treat monetary loans like gifts – and if you wouldn’t happily fork over the cash with no dream of getting it back, then just say no. From the mocha you buy your boss every morning to two grand in bail money, lending money can transform a relationship in one of two ways: you can give it freely and let it color your friendship with a sense of casual intimacy. Or you can let it fester into unthinkable bitterness – after which, you still probably won’t ever see your money again.
If you take a deep drag of a cigarette as you’re stepping into a building, then exhale after you set foot in the door, yes you are still smoking inside. Please don’t ever do this.
If you have a problem with someone, tell them. As soon as you’re able to string the words together with a modicum of tact, let them know that you have a problem with their behavior and come up with a viable compromise. Half the time, people don’t even know that they’re bugging us. And as satisfying as it can be to complain to other people, wouldn’t it be even more satisfying to complain to the right person and then end the behavior altogether?
Fortune favors the bold. Think of the thing you’ve always wanted to do. Are you physically able? Can you afford it, with the help of a little strategic personal budgeting? Is it legal? There are tons of good reasons to do it, and only one (very bad) reason not to. And call me crazy, but considering we spend our lives walking around in incredibly fragile bodies, nurturing relationships that can explode at any moment, working ‘til we sweat blood to earn money that has no objective value – I mean, what is there to be more afraid of?!
This is literally everything I know about being a human being. Leave some more universal truths in the comments section. Let’s write the first chapter or two of this instruction manual together.
Photo Credit
“Nostalgia Art Journal” johwey @ flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some rights Reserved.
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Hello,
There is an instruction manual: Holy Bible!
Instructions; Love your GOD and Love your Neighbor as yourself.
Smile at everyone, and be nice to everyone – even the Jerks.
Love you,
Be Blessed’
Roy J. B.
for me life as a human being isnt just living is working together as a collective human race towards making life easier and more easily sustainable to create MORE life. and interacting with people is to be able to share our thoughts and happiness and ideas with one another. people who you make as your friends are people you enjoy having in your life and doing things with, all in the pursuit of happiness. in the end we all want to be happy so why not try to make someone else happy so they can be happy with you? or even better make everyone else happy so we can all live at peace. i know its a naive thought but all it takes is one person to step forward with an idea that benefits everyone regardless of their backgrounds, to stir the intellect of people to recognize that we ARE life and we make life by living it.
Right on. Agree 100%
See also: The Desiderata (from which my personal philosophy is largely derived), Sun Tzu, and Marcus Aurelius.
Reading, and loving, the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. He’s reminding me of all the things I need to know to continue being a decent human. Funny how what was true in 150 CE/AD is still true today.
I love this. We don’t come with manuals and that is why life has so many ups and downs and ins and outs! Who knows what they’re doing most of the time anyways. If I could add to the list of being a decent human being would be to always stay grounded. It’s easy to get ahead of yourself and forget everyone that helped you get there. Always remember where you came from and you’ll be a better person because of it.
These are good. Funny that the cigarette thing made your top FIVE. But I totally agree.
I would like to add something along the lines of “Smile. At everyone.” followed by some cliche about how it might be the only smile the person receives all day, and how you never know what someone you pass on the street is going through.
Oh, and also “Don’t be a complainer.” Because it is not fun to hang out with you.
Oh man, amen! Especially with the smiling! And it’s a silly cliche, but when it comes to happiness, I always find the best approach to slaying a bad mood is to fake it ’til you make it. (Sadly, bad moods can be so insular that it’s easy to forget that very excellent advice. Sigh.)