The ongoing story of a girl and her van on an epic journey across Canada.
It was Day 43 (Mon, June 21st) when I first noticed the smell. This was during my marathon drive to Detroit. The past few days had been freakin’ hot and muggy. I’d been in my van pretty much 24/7 for a few days: driving, sleeping, eating. One thing I was definitely not doing, either in my van or outside of it, was showering. This was a few days of long haul driving and Walmart parking lots, people. Bathing opportunities were few and far between.
So, the appearance of a strong unpleasant odour didn’t really surprise me. I assumed it was a particularly sweaty pair of shoes shoved in a corner somewhere. Nothing a good airing couldn’t sort out! Right?
Wrong.
Day 46 (Thur, June 24th)
You will remember, of course, that I was visiting my mom and step-sister and step-aunts/uncles/cousins. After a few days relaxing at the cottage, we packed ourselves into three vehicles and drove back into town. My mom rode with me. I should warn you, I said, there may be a funny smell. I noticed it a few days ago.
Not only was the smell still there, but the van had been sitting in the hot, muggy sun for two days. So it was just a teeny bit STRONGER than before. But still smelt like feet, so not really anything to worry about. We survived the drive to town with only one window open (yes, I still live in fear of my camper top popping off, and yes, I’m still convinced having the second window open is what causes this to happen), and my mom advised that I locate the offending pair of filthy socks before I attempt to drive again.
Day 47 (Fri, June 25th)
My mom and step-sister went home. I stuck around an extra day to take in the sights and sounds of Detroit.
That was the plan, anyway.
But first, I needed to find the source of the smell. Which, I should mention, had turned into a sort of rotten fish/mildew medley. It was stronger and nastier and was quickly making my van undrivable.
So I pulled out all of my shoes.
Nope, they were all fine.
Okay, laundry next. Out came my backpack, my laundry bag. Both odourless.
Maybe something got wet? Okay, out with anything made of fabric. My duvet. Three pillows. Sleeping bag. Four sweaters hung off the passenger seat.
No. No. No. And no.
Not my knitting bag!
Nope. Phew!
Not the cooler. Not my guitar. Not my stove. Not my collapsible chair.
What else is there?
It was time to empty out everything. And you folks should know that a Westfalia camper van has about 10 million compartments. I emptied each one of them. Canned food. Dishes. Maps. Books. First aide kit. Tarps. Toilet paper. Extra blankets. Jumper cables. Tool box. Scrabble. More books.
Nothing smelled! But if I stood in the van there was definitely a strong, dead smell that was getting more and more disgusting.
Getting desperate, I sniffed every inch of that damn van. Every seat cushion, every inch of carpet, every door panel, cupboard, window. EVERYTHING.
Everything was fine!
That’s when I started prying off the door panels. Unscrewing the vents. Hoping I would find a dead rodent stuffed somewhere that I could dispose of and that would be the end of that.
Nothing.
I was starting to think it was time to get checked for a brain tumour or something. But no, my cousin Anne was there to confirm that I was not imagining the smell. It was, in fact, there. And it was, in fact, gross.
What had started out as a quick game of find-the-smelly-shoe had turned into an afternoon wild goose chase. Finally Anne dragged me away to Ann Arbour to check out an outdoor music festival. We left the van to air out (or hopefully get stolen so it could become someone else’s problem).
Day 48 (Sat, June 26th)
The smell was still there, but not as strong. Anne took me to a department store and I bought two boxes of baking soda and this bag that has crystals that absorbs water out of the air. I placed these odour-fighting items strategically around the van, and headed for the border back into Canada.
Anything to declare?
Yes, I’m carrying a potential biological toxin somewhere in my van. If you can find it, you can have it!
Present Day
My mystery smell is mostly gone. It doesn’t knock you on your ass anymore when you first open the door, so that’s a good thing. But I do still get a whiff of it while I’m driving every now and then.
To quote OMC, how bizarre, how bizarre. Ooh, baby. It’s making me crazy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfJe8hQ8ha0
Photo Credits
Ludo crossing the Bog of Eternal Stench in “Labyrinth”
Cousin Anne to the rescue! © Sarah Gignac
Border Crossing through the Detroit/Windsor tunnel © Sarah Gignac
This article was first published on Raggedy Threads in July 2010.
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