These women aren’t chatting. They’re plotting. With heads bowed together. One of them leans into the circle, shifts her Ray Bans onto the top of her head as though what she is about to offer is nothing short of a revelation. And she’s clever too, because now they’re all laughing. Another woman approaches, and the group parts slowly, like a reluctant amoeba, to let her in.
It’s cold on the school grounds this morning. Some of the fathers are here. What do they do for a living? Like the mothers, they’ve formed their own little group. One of them is sporting spandex bike shorts. Another is wearing those sexy little cycling shoes, the kind that click-clack on the pavement. Like soccer cleats. Like ladies’ boots. (Well, maybe he thinks they’re sexy.)
Ah, we are a privileged group. Imagine that, cycling shoes. His bike is worth more than my car.
Me? I’m an outsider. At least that’s how it feels. Standing with my kids, waiting (please, oh please) for the morning bell, watching the adults go at it, solving the world’s problems, congratulating one another on what good parents they are. Ah yes, competition is in the air – I can smell it.
Every weekday morning I smile to these people and every morning they can’t quite figure out who I am. Is she Tracy’s mother? No, Jason’s? No, no, that’s not it…
Welcome to our school. We collect coins for the new jungle gym, bottles for the environmental enhancement fund. Everything is urgent, important. What is it today? The principal is dodgy, a teacher ineffective, head lice, the Virtues are coming to our school. Whoa, Nelly! Hang on there – you just about knocked me over with your jogging stroller – did I hear Virtues?
Whom and what governing body has decided there is a need for this in our schools? Should I be offended? Virtues have to do with the core of a person; one’s integrity, morality. I practice and instill healthy values at home, and so do my friends and acquaintances, thank you very much. We all love our children and want the best for them. We want to encourage and celebrate goodness and strength of character.
Could this just be another trend, another cache of the affluent, just preaching to the converted? Improve, improve, improve. Meanwhile, in other neighbourhoods, parents are struggling with life and death issues. Illness, poverty, addiction, isolation.
I found a list of 52 virtues on one website (where you can also shop for books, CDs, greeting cards and screen savers). First on the list is – wait for it — Assertiveness. Have I missed something here? Since when did assertiveness become a virtue? Isn’t it more virtuous to turn the other cheek than to stand one’s ground?
It’s not surprising that the heavy hitters from my childhood such as Chastity, Prudence and Temperance are absent from this lengthy list, but I do find it odd that Empathy is missing.
I’d love to see kindness and respect practiced at the school, particularly by the parents. But you have to lead by example. So next time you’re talking about virtue, please don’t push me off the sidewalk with your jogging stroller again, or I just might have to muster up a new virtue or two of my own. After all, there are only so many cheeks I can turn.
Photo Credits
“Black & Green G.” alan(ator) @ flickr. Creative Commons. Some rights reserved.
Recent Margaret Blackwood Articles:
- Leave Beacon Hill Park Alone
- It's the Thought that Counts
- Being Thankful
- Looking Forward, Looking Back
- Don't Call Me Ma'am
I just loved it. Keep up the good work
bang on Margaret.
we endeavour to teach and preach good manners, no bullying or intimidating displays in our schools, however, we often fail to lead by example.
ken
This is fantastic. I feel like you’ve said everything I’ve harboured for years – but so much more beautifully. Thanks for this!