Today let’s talk about confusing love and pity.
Have you ever thought you were in love with someone,
only to discover later that you really just felt sorry for them?
I had that happen a lot. I would find a woman who was in great turmoil, become involved with her, and think I was “in love.” Really, I was embroiled in her chaos, and feeling sorry that her life was so out of control. I had several experiences where the woman would pour her soul out about the awful guy she used to date, I would listen to her misery, and then the next week, she would be back with the same guy. I was recreating the familiar uncertainty of growing up in an alcoholic family. As I learned to separate love from pity, I began to seek healthier interactions, and not relationships based upon some dependency need.
Have you ever thought you were in love and it was just that you felt sorry for the person?
“In love. Or not.” By Marcus Hansson @ flickr.com – Creative commons – Some rights reserved.
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
The podcasts of these episodes can be found at: Minute to Freedom