Poisoned Love

Guest Author, Drew Sager, meditates upon the ultimate violation of trust that overcomes the human spirit – betrayal.

“Love does not last forever, then?”
“He asked me the same thing this morning,” she said. “No, it does not – not love that has been betrayed. One realizes that one has loved a mirage, someone who never really existed. Not that love dies immediately or soon, even then. But it does die and cannot be revived.” ~ Mary Balogh, Simply Perfect

death at the twilight“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Invincible

 I am surprised at myself. I am a spiritually enlightened man well acquainted with my own faults and well exercised at forgiving a mountain of offenses against me and yet I have found myself at an insurmountable barrier. I have bitterness at a betrayal – no not just one – but many betrayals, of my lover against me. I mouth the words like I know I should, “I forgive you.”  I pray the prayers, “Lord help her,” and yet, I find a seething bleeding wound festering beneath my loving mask. Why is it that this has taken root in me? Worse, why is it that I cannot, under any amount of coercion, cleanse myself of this horrid stew I have brewed? I have not yet tasted the foulness of it, but I can smell it, tainting the air of conversation and poisoning the purity of the love I felt. I am sure it will kill all of my affection but I must make sure I don’t let it destroy my compassion for others, or morph into its evil sibling, revenge. God help me, I am just like the one I despise! Now I am left with this battle, and how to win it, I have no sure plan. I need an intervention of grace – power to do what I could never do.

 Photo Credit:

“Death at Twilight.”  Flickr Creative Commons.  Some rights reserved  by LeBouthillier-B

 

Previously published at:

Broowaha.com 
opinionsofeye.com 


Guest Author Bio

Drew Sager
Drew Monarch Madness I think and think and 99 times I’m wrong. But on the 100th time, I’m right. – Einstein

I blog, play music, body surf, ride a harley, and occasionally go to church.

Blog / Website: opinionsofeye.com


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Comments

  1. avatar says

    Powerful words, Drew, about a topic close to my heart. How do you recover from a betrayal that devastates your ability to trust? Still struggling with that one myself!

    Dan

    • avatar says

      Not only healing from the betrayal but keeping myself from doing the same to another. It seems that the wrongs that a woman did to me, I do the same thing to them in another relationship. Like a viscous circle, hurting people, hurt people. I’d like off of this merry-go-round please…best of luck in your recovery Dan.

      • avatar says

        Absolutely, Drew – been there, done that – hurting like I was hurt! I’m at that same point – want off the merry-go-round, trying to work back to the origins! Thanks for the post and your well wishes! :)

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