This summer, this July in particular I feel like it was one of the hottest summers that I can remember. It seems to me as well that thunder storms just don’t happen the way they used to. I remember so many thunder storms when I was a kid. I’d sit in my parents car in the drive way and listen to the rain falling on the car roof. How our memories of silly things come back to us with the simplest of thoughts.
The month of July was also when we had our first guest. My son’s son arrived from Gaspe to spend the month with us. It worked out so well. He is ten and so we would go to the public pool when we had that crazy heat wave. We’d walk around town or we’d go discover new things. It was great that we could accommodate him for the month and we had a lot of fun!
As I am writing this now it is Thanksgiving weekend. Mid October and the leaves are changing. Those vibrant and beautiful reds and yellows and burnt oranges. The days are cool and the nights are cold. I love this time of year. Mother nature is letting us know that changes are good. That even when it gets cold we can find warmth indoors.
These past few months I have been living in a little town called St. Anne De Bellevue, it is I am sure in its hay day a quaint cottage village. It is also home to a CEGEP John Abbott and University of McGill. It is so quaint that at noon and six at night the church bells ring out. I love that, the bells remind me of an era when things were simple.
Myself and my two adult children share a house. The arrangement has worked out really well. The cost of living has gone up so much that having being able to share rent is a God send. After my husband died it felt good to be in the place where we had lived. It felt like he and I had made an imprint there but as time went on I got very lonely and so with much discussion my children and I decided to try sharing a house. It is an old house with beautiful inlaid floors and woodwork everywhere. There is plenty of room for us to be alone when we need to or to hang out together.
I felt then that the loneliness of losing my life partner was dissipating somewhat. That weight , the loss was becoming much easier to bear. Having dinner with my children again is wonderful. We all chip in when need be.
Another change for me is that I have retired and so my days are spent in this beautiful house now doing whatever I feel like doing on any particular day. It’s wonderful. The stress of work and all its worries is gone and once again I feel a weight has been removed. At this time I am happy to be reading, and walking and enjoying the beautiful area that I live in. I may get bored with it, who knows. One day at a time is my motto.
It’s Thanksgiving this weekend and we will have our turkey and fixings. But for me it will be a time to really look at my life and be thankful for where it has taken me. A friend of mine tells me often “ God will provide Martha “. I believe that is true. There have been so many things in my life that happen and I never understand why until I am shown why after the fact. Synchronicity, it’s a real thing.
Holidays are so very difficult for those of us who have a loved one who has died. Weather it is a spouse or parent or child, not having those people with us to celebrate all the good things life has to offer is very sad, however knowing that those left behind share in your grief and in the happiness that they knew that person and can share with you those memories that never fade but live on in our hearts and minds.
This I am thankful for, my children and my family and friends who have always been guiding lights in the darkness that can sometimes consume me. I am so very thankful for their love and for their laughter and joy in knowing me and in knowing those that I love.
Photo Credits
Photos by Martha Farley – All Rights Reserved
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