Commands. When we give them, we expect them to be completed promptly and consistently so that we get the same result every time. There should be no deviation, no variation. We carefully install them so that we can count on them when we need them and we expect them to happen every time without fail when we ask for them. It’s not a difficult concept. When they do fail, it can be infuriating. After all, computers are just supposed to work, aren’t they?
Oh. You thought I was talking about dogs? I shouldn’t be surprised. Many people have the same expectations of their dogs that they have of computers, their cars, or any other appliance in their lives. They are supposed to perform the functions they were programmed for and do it on command without exception. If you think I’m exaggerating, consider this quote from an article by Delores Burton of K-9 Campus:
Never give a command you know you can’t or won’t enforce. Enforce every command. Make him obey on the first command. Do not repeat, or make your command sound like a request or a question. If you give him an option, he will ignore you. It takes getting away with something just once for him to challenge your authority.
Great expectations
What do you expect from your dogs? Depending on your background and experience with dogs, your answer might range from “very little” to a long list of attributes that you think a dog should have. An important question about your expectations about your dog is whether you think they should come “free in the box” when you get your dog or whether you will need to teach your dog to do the things you are expecting. If you are like me, you would probably answer that you have some expectations that fall into each of those categories.
A fundamental expectation of our dogs is expressed by Ed Frawley of Leerburg Dog Training when he says “Dogs don’t know how to be good unless we show them.” I think this is a common belief about dogs that Frawley sums up pretty well. The expectation behind it is that your dog will not be “good” unless you show them how. In other words, your dog will come to you “being bad” until you fix them. This seems to me like we get a dog expecting them to have a desire to cause problems until we correct them. I’m not sure I can agree with that view.
There are many other expectations that seem to stem from the kind of basic assumption that Ed Frawley expresses. Dogs want to be the “pack leader.” They will not “respect” us unless we teach them to respect us. Dogs prefer to be “disobedient” rather than cooperating with us. It’s almost like they have their own agenda and their own thoughts and desires in the world. Perhaps that’s why some people feel they have to “program” them with the right behaviours.
Programming language
Even the language we use when we talk about dogs and training is laced with words and phrases that make it sound like we are working with machines. “Commands”, “Compliance”, “Corrections”, “Errors”, these are all words that we use when talking about computers too. And there is another context where we often hear the word “programming” – cults. These are places were people get programmed to be “obedient”, “respectful”, and “devoted.” Requests are to be carried out without question and promptly. Deviation is unacceptable. Non-compliance is to be punished.
This kind of language is not something we are accustomed to in our everyday human lives. We would bristle with resentment if we were treated this way in our jobs. I’m sure some people are treated this way and they are generally unhappy. Still, we have requirements for cooperation in our civilized society, we just choose different and more collaborative terms to express what we need and different ways to manage when things don’t go the way we expect.
Perfection reflection
Many dog training professionals sell their services by promising to help you train your dog to perform important behaviours EVERY time under ANY circumstance. You should be able to take your dog off-leash anywhere and recall them to you without fail every single time. Your dog should be focused on you and attentive to you at all times. Regardless of circumstances or environment, your dog should perform whatever trained behaviour you command them to do immediately without delay.
Any failure of these criteria means that your dog isn’t properly trained. And that’s a direct reflection on you, the dog’s owner. According to some, your failure to achieve these basics of dog training means that you haven’t lived up to your responsibility as a dog owner and trainer. At least that is what you are encouraged to believe. You see, you are not the only one that has expectations of your dogs. Apparently the larger dog community and the public have standards that you are expected to meet.
What do you expect?
It wasn’t until I challenged some of the “conventional wisdom” in dog training that I began to get a clearer picture of what I wanted from my dogs. There seem to be a lot of beliefs and expectations about our dogs. There are a lot of things we should be doing, should be seeing, should be training our dogs to do. There is a program that we need to get our dogs to fit into. Call them a set of minimum requirements if you like. And that isn’t unreasonable. What may be unreasonable is thinking that we can just install the “commands” we need and then flick the switch when we want those behaviours and that we will always get what we want.
The truth is, our dogs are not computers or machines. As living, breathing animals they respond to and engage with their world. They have feelings and thoughts even though they may be very different from those that we humans experience. And those thoughts and feelings will play a role in their behaviour. We expect our dogs not to growl or bare their teeth but that is frequently how our dogs can indicate that they are uncomfortable, in pain, or have some other health issue. We are told that dogs who go through doorways first, lick their owners, lay on sofas, or who bother you for physical affection are exhibiting signs of “dominance” and must be discouraged or corrected for these behaviours. Never mind that there is no scientific, factual basis for any of those claims.
What I expect from my dogs matters. It will affect how I relate to and work with my dogs in the most basic and important ways. If I think my dogs come into my home as agents of chaos intending to disrupt and disobey, I begin with an adversarial relationship and a need to control their every move. If, instead, I think of my dogs as innocent toddlers who are happy to cooperate with me if only they knew how then I begin a process of teaching and cooperating to help them learn to live successfully with me.
Getting out of the program
Owning a dog means that we need to get them to cooperate with us in our lifestyle choices. Cooperate – that’s an important word. It has a different feel than “obey”, “comply”, or “conform” with our desires. Sure, we all have things we would like to do with our dogs. But, as animals, each dog is an individual and may or may not be well suited to give us the exact behaviours we want. They may have different abilities, preferences, or physical limitations.
As much as we hate to admit it, this is really about what we humans want. This is about our dogs doing the things we ask them to do in the way we want to see it done. Maybe, just maybe, we have some unrealistic expectations of our dogs. Perhaps we need to stop trying to program them like computers or cult members. Maybe instead we should be teaching them like we would toddlers who just need to be shown what we would like. And to forgive them their small inconsistencies, recognizing that we have a responsibility to help them be successful rather than judge them on their failures.
I have a choice about how I want to live with my dogs. I consider my dogs well-behaved and polite. We are frequently out in public enjoying a variety of activities with others. We have frequent guests in our home and our dogs are comfortable with them. But we didn’t have to program them to be that way. We only had to teach and encourage them to do the things we wanted and that has worked out quite happily for both us and the dogs.
Until next time, have fun with your dogs!
Nice tips about dogs..Thank you ^_^
It is so hard to remember this all the time. Regarding trained behaviors and just general co-habitation, it is not generally an issue. What I do struggle with is allowing the odd things that pop up. I need to recognize their individual needs and concerns ALL THE TIME and not expect them to turn on and off as I want.
Thanks.