Today let’s talk about we won’t regret the past.
There is a saying in some literature that we won’t regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.
It is one of the hopeful statements about what can happen as a result of doing the hard work of recovery. I didn’t think that statement could apply to me, but I’ve seen a gradual shifting on my part. I’ve seen it come true. I don’t regret the past, and can talk about growing up in an alcoholic family, with the violence that occurred, from a peaceful and forgiving perspective. When I published my first book, it was dedicated to my Dad, who helped show me the path of healing by his perseverant attitude. Think about it – the Dad who had damaged me gave me a road map to overcoming the damage. Amazing!
Have you ever been able to look at your past without regret?
Photo Credit
Microsoft Office Clipart Collection
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
The podcasts of these episodes can be found at: Minute to Freedom
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One of my frequent expressions, in which I am absolutely sincere although it has a humorous ring to it, is “Every year in recovery the past gets better.” I have many years of my own dysfunctional and addictive behavior behind me as well as a past growing up with two alcoholic parents. That’s sixty-four years of dealing with the demons of substance abuse in one way or another, of which I remember a good sixty. I resent the difficult times and regret choices that got me in a lot of trouble less, more or less in proportion to how comfortable I am with where I am at this moment – if I am reasonably happy, and feel my life is on track, the convoluted path by which I arrived here becomes more acceptable. For example, I left a demanding career that wasn’t going very well to marry a man who divorced me eleven years later. The more I think about it the more I think I ought to be grateful to the man who made it easier to leave a life trajectory which was proving very destructive and might well have killed me.
Hi Martha! Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts. Great insight – “every year… the past gets better.” I do understand – the way I say it is “I have healed the wounds, but I’ll always carry the scars.” I do remember what happened, but it intrudes on my life less and less. As you say, in proportion to how comfortable I am at this moment.
Interesting how the man who got you out of that demanding career path turned out to be a blessing. I have events like that – at the time they appear negative, but there’s an unintended huge upside to them.
Cheers,
Dan 🙂