Today let’s talk about tough love. So what is that?
Has it ever seemed like someone is taking advantage of you, even when you may have told them to stop.
I had a friend who used to call and start verbally unloading the problems of her world, without even asking how I was doing. I had to tell her to stop, and finally stop talking with her. I was sorry for what she was going through, but it felt like she was handing me her problems and not doing anything about them. I teach people how to treat me, and if I don’t change how we interact, it’s me who is letting it continue. One person said that tough love is tough on the person who is doing it – it’s true, setting those tough boundaries is painful, but sometimes necessary for my own peace of mind.
Have you ever had to practice tough love with a friend?
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The Microsoft Office Clip Art Collection
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
The podcasts of these episodes can be found at: Minute to Freedom
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I like what you are writing a lot but I agree deeply with this one. There is not such thing as “tough love”. What you described is not love by any way. You walked away from your friend. I am not saying it is wrong, just that please don’t call it love. Same with “loving from afar”. There is no such thing. It’s not enough to think that we love somebody, our love is definied by whether or not this other person feels loved. Did your friend feel loved? No, she didn’t. She felt dumped.
Lovng someone means finding a compromise because this is what our life is. We can never fully get what we want, but we can get enough. Yes sometimes we walk away from people but then let’s call it that, “walking away”, not “tough love”. Let’s be honest.
“Tough love” concept always ruined my closest relashionships. My loved ones needed understanding and real unconditional love, not “tough love”. I hurt people I love most by “tough loving” them. Never again. And never use it with your kids, ever.