Who Do You Trust?

Who do you trust? How much do you trust them? Do you trust yourself?

Interesting topic, that of trust.

When we find someone we can truly trust, I believe we have found a kindred spirit. Someone who loves and accepts us for who we are…as we are.

The term I have come to use is “genuine”. During the course of my travels I have met very few “genuine” people. When I do meet a “genuine” person, I am able to identify with and confide in this person, knowing I will not be used or discarded but rather supported and uplifted. A genuine person glories in the success of others. There is a genuine interest in me and it is reciprocated.

One could even call it “love”. Both parties can be at ease because neither needs nor wants the approval of the other. They simply exist and enjoy each other’s presence. No fuss and feathers, no rhyme or reason…they simply recognize in each other the eternal camaraderie of mutual love and respect. Nothing to prove, nothing to gain.

I had the experience of working in two Fortune 500 companies, each with different skilled populations. One was a new financial services company, full of account reps and credit analysts. The pride was evident and everyone was learning to work together. The other company was an oil and gas company where the engineers had worked together for several years.

In the financial services company, everyone showed a good face at first. Everyone was friendly and kind and courteous…but that didn’t last for long. Soon the analysts started jockeying for positions, spying on each other, gossiping, and acting childish. Everyone was worried about everyone else’s job but their own. It truly was an experiment in social behavior. Take away the financial degrees and you could very well have been watching a class of first graders! “Trust no one” seemed to be the motto because everyone was looking out for themselves.

On the other hand, the people in the oil and gas company had been with each other for longer periods, and they had come to accept everyone for who they were…bad attitudes and all! What’s more is they looked after each other and cared for each other. I would imagine the kind of drama I witnessed in the financial services company gets to the point where that drama becomes difficult to sustain and it is simply easier to accept and respect each other. In the oil and gas company, trust was earned and sustained. They may not have agreed with each other, but they did respect and trust each other.

I can count the “genuine” people I know on my hands. If you are one of the few I have considered “genuine”, know that you hold a very special place in my heart and I love you for who you are.

I recently attended my 30-year high school reunion. Most of these friends and classmates I had not seen since the 20-year reunion…some not since Junior High. When I was there I felt an incredible peace and acceptance among my peers. Gone were the titles of jocks, stoners, geeks, cheerleaders, band members, soccer players, and what have you. Everybody was accepted for who they were at that moment…not who they were three decades ago. What a wonderful feeling. No tags…no expectations…no titles…just classmates.

At that moment I was glad that I had grown up with these people; with each one of them making my childhood a little sweeter to remember. I had lived these past 30 years away from them and I did not need nor desire their acceptance…I only wanted to see them and remember those years when TRUST was not even a concern…it was a given.

I mention the old company, the new company, and my former classmates to illustrate an observation. It would seem that time has a way of melting away ego, pride, and insecurities — all of which are obstacles to gaining trust. There is no longer a need to “prove” ourselves. We are who we are…take us or leave us…as is. Time helps us to become more genuine, more trustworthy.

I feel I am rambling now because I love those schoolmates and those memories that have made me who I am today. I wish That feeling of love and trust would emanate throughout all my acquaintances…but I know that is not realistic.

My father used to say, “You have my trust until you lose it. Then you have to earn it! Wise words.

Genuine people are hard to find, but easy to keep. Trust is the key. Who can you trust?

Photo Credit

“Silhouettes of Tomorrow” A Justice Network @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

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