As Lorne writes his last blog post from his desk in Alberta before the move to British Columbia, he reflects on our need to savour these “last moments”.
This will be the last blog post I write at this desk. As part of our downsizing to move across the mountains and from house to condo, the desk has to go. It’s solid, functional desk but nothing unique. I’ve sold it to a nice guy who seems thrilled about acquiring it.
So parting with the desk is not a momentous occasion. Nevertheless, it falls into that category of “last time” events and I have plenty of those happening now.
My last long run on the wonderful river valley trails that start just down the street. Weeding my rock garden, reflecting on its years of evolution from an awkward rise in the lawn to a natural looking outcropping of stone and perennials. Some last times involve less sentiment than others: mowing the lawn, cleaning the rain gutters in the middle of a prairie thunderstorm.
But for all those there are the many times when poignant moments pass never to return. How many parents wonder about the last time their child will jump into their lap?
The reality is that we all experience last times frequently but we’re rarely aware of them as they occur. Some people go through life full steam ahead with nary a glance in the rear-view mirror. Perhaps it is my melancholy bent but I am frequently tossing a glance back, wondering ‘now was that the last time I will…?’
Packing up to move also makes one aware of milestones that have been crossed, never to be revisited. The equipment bag from a sport that once enthused you but you realize now you won’t be taking up again. Paraphernalia for a hobby that didn’t become habit.
Sometimes, a first time is also a last time. A first kiss that isn’t returned. A taste of an exotic food that screams ‘last time’ from the very first bite. A bucket list item like climbing to Machu Picchu or skydiving.
Most difficult are those last times that underscore our mortality as humans. My daughter Kate recently wrote poignantly about the regrets of last visits – and how we need to release ourselves from those regrets to experience life itself.
Life can been seen as a series of these last times. The trick is to immerse yourself in the moments as they occur. “Face forward,” as Kate says.
The laughing swoosh down the playground slide with your toddler in your lap. The last time your baby grabs at your beard or burps up on your shoulder.
I think of the energy of those moments. You want to savour them. That child wants to slip out of your lap and explore something new. That desk is being put to new use.
Life is impatient. Life wants to move on. This may be a last time, life says, but what’s next? Let’s go.
Photo Credit
“Reluctance” © Chris Holt Photos All rights Reserved
Great piece Lorne. It made me tear up and smile at the same time