Nathan Thompson looks at how speed and convenience are destroying our personal connections.
I have written about this topic before, but found the following article by Life As a Human author Andrea K. Paterson fairly compelling. As someone who has a foot in the technological world, but who readily chooses substance over convenience, I found these words to ring very true:
Convenience seems to come at the price of interaction — the sort of day-to-day interactions that make us a part of our communities. Instead of chatting with the person at the grocery store check-out we do battle with the automated self check-out machine. Instead of going to a teller at the bank we find any old ATM to do our banking. Jobs that involve serving the public are quickly disappearing as they are replaced by machines and internet-based services. And I can’t help worrying that the increased lack of human interaction is going to be socially detrimental and isolating.
I really believe that these daily interactions mean something, and I believe that they add richness to my life. I’ve recently heard that Blockbuster is going under and that NetFlix will soon be our primary movie procuring option, and I have to say that I’m very sad about this. In fact, my regular Sunday night trip to the local Blockbuster to pick out a movie with my husband has become something that we both cherish. After dinner we set out on a short walk to the store and hope that “Movie Guy” will be there.
“Movie Guy” is our most trusted Blockbuster employee who can always be counted on to provide excellent recommendations for movies both new and old. It seems that he’s seen every movie ever made and has detailed opinions about all of them. I’m not going to invite Movie Guy to my next birthday party, but we have a relationship nonetheless. It’s a relationship based on similar taste in films, on a shared sense of humour, and on one person doing his job really well and other people benefiting from that person’s expertise.
Ironically, it wasn’t too long ago that Blockbuster was the convenience store of movies, putting independent after independent out of business. In fact, some of those Movie Guys had been, at one time, owners of their own rental places, which served not only as businesses, but as gathering places for movie fanatics. So, one might view Blockbuster as an intermediate step on the process of moving towards full privatization and individualization.
This is one of the reasons why I have withheld complete support for a view that suggests a person can rely solely on internet resources or books to fuel their spiritual practice. Even a tiny group of people meditating together, doing yoga together, or studying sacred texts together has an effect one really can’t come by doing it all “alone.”
Beyond that, though, the larger issue is really the general struggle with community many of us have. Perhaps it won’t be a big deal if, for example, Netflix takes over the movie rental industry. In and of itself, it’s not terribly important. However, it does play into a trend of ease, that is coupled with isolation and a “checking out” of formerly everyday interactions.
A few months ago, I stepped up to the check-out counter at our local library to borrow some movies. The woman behind the desk said, “Have you tried our individual check out yet?” I turned around and saw the row of computer check-outs that are rapidly replacing interaction with a live person in our libraries. I wanted to say, “Yes, but I prefer working with you.” Instead, I just said “Yes” and she proceeded to pull the movies out of their covers, while saying “we’re trying to get our numbers up on the check out machines.”
The first thing I thought was, “Aren’t you concerned about your job disappearing?” Although it is the case that librarians are diversifying their skill sets these days, which is a positive, it’s also the case that budgets are getting cut routinely. Underwriting billionaires to build new football stadiums seems to be more important than keeping libraries open and filled with intelligent, friendly staff folks.
After that initial thought, I felt a bit of sadness, noting how these kinds of interactions are slowly being whittled away by computerization, and unfortunately, we aren’t doing a great job of shifting to a different mode of interacting with each other.
Again, I think it’s more the general shift going on that’s alarming, as opposed to any specific interaction. I have seen some librarians, for example, spending more time helping people locate information and resources vital to their well-being — so perhaps there a lag I’m witnessing there, which in the end, will result in much more interactive community libraries.
But I’m not sure it’s a lag that can be generalized to the broader picture.
The world is obsessed with connectivity. Everyone needs an iPhone, instant access to email and text messages, instant access to products and information and yet I get the sense that we’re all more disconnected than ever. Sure, we can get 60 text messages a minute from our closest friends, but we avoid human beings in public like lepers. We plug up our ears, glue our eyes to our phones, and block out the random people who fill our days. We reject them thoroughly, then go back to our concrete boxes to eat dinner in front of TVs instead of with our families. We know a thousand methods for keeping in touch but we’ve forgotten how to reach out. We’ve forgotten how to say saying hello to the person sitting next to us on the bus simply because they’re sharing our space for awhile.
I would like to think we are in a transition period, where people are still trying to find the balance point in working with the new technologies we have. But so much seems accelerated these days, and it takes more effort to be ok with not keeping up with it all. I see it even with people who are dedicated to slowing down, to practicing meditation and other spiritual practices, to prioritizing paying attention over production and speed. All of that is at odds with the demands of their workplace, or their families, or some other vital part of their lives.
In fact, I can see it in myself, having spent the past three or four years advocating with others that our Zen Center get more “online” and “connected with the outside world.” It’s not that this is a bad thing, but that it has forced a few folks, including our head teacher, to plug into technology in ways they might have not chosen to without the pressure coming from us. And while I believe we are correct to be moving in this direction, it has brought up all sorts of questions about how to apply the ancient teachings that are supposed to guide our lives to what we are doing online.
While my own experiences and learning probably makes me more optimistic than the author of the article I am quoting above, I do think there are more and more people who have become “Convenience Zombies.” You even see it amongst people coming to zen centers and yoga studios. “Just teach me how to meditate. Just tell me how to move my body. No ritual. No archaic texts. I want to feel better NOW.”
It’s all a cause for pause. Because those disappearing “Movie Guys” are symbolic of a larger trend, one that we really might want to reconsider, even if it means slowing things down a bit.
Photo Credit
“Oh-a-oh” Guerilla Futures @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.
Recent Nathan Thompson Articles:
- A Balm for Your Body and Mind
- The Gifts of Comfrey
- Learning in the Community Garden
- Passionflowers
- The Beautiful, Powerful Coneflower
Just to be honest, I find TV to be one of the biggest life drains around. Because it’s become an everyday default for people to check out of the “real” world with. Furthermore, it tends to dominate a room full of people, and frequently creates a passiveness that I wouldn’t equate with “quality time.” There’s a difference between specifically sitting down to watch a single show, movie, or sporting event with others, and “vegging out together” for hours.
You’re right that technology brings social change. And I wouldn’t suggest that we get rid of our computers, Iphones, and whatnot. They aren’t the issue – how we interact with and use them is what I’m getting at.
One of the things I hear more and more people say – myself included – is that we long for more community, and deeper connections with each other. And yet, at the same time, many of us seem to also want to maintain our “independence” and “personal preferences and desires.” It’s a quandary I think. Because you can’t have both all the time, and often, holding too tightly to one blocks the other. Perhaps you wife’s scolding is an example of holding too tightly to the communal/social side, for example.
But another thing to consider is the expense of it all, and the fact that people often will stay in jobs they hate, or will work entirely too much, in order to pay to have all the newest gadgets and conveniences under the sun. The irony, of course, is that whatever time and energy is saved by having the fastest, newest computer, brand new car, or whatever is negated by the fact that they worked an extra job or stuck out the full-time gig they otherwise wouldn’t need in order to have the money to buy and maintain the technology in question.
To me, it’s not so much any specific piece of technology. It’s the cumulative impact that all of it can have.
“In my view, it matters more how we use our time in general, rather than how much we might save by doing X, Y, or Z.”
I agree that how we use our time in general is important, but if one can save a few minutes here and there and we capitalize on this save time by spending quality time with people where is the problem?
In regards to the “scenes where couples and their older children are sitting in the same room” the way people spend there time really comes down to personal preference, and sure there will be times when a group of people are in a room all doing something different like listening to music, or texting or surfing the web. I think the issue comes down to peoples perception of these modern conveniences.
For example a few months back I was sitting in a room with my father and mother in law. My mother in law was watching television, my father in law was doing a Sudoku puzzle and I was catching up on my email with my iPhone. My wife walking into the room and scolded me for being unsocial. The reason this ‘scolding for being unsocial’ happened was because I was using the most modern technology out of everyone. A few days later we were all watching a movie and again I was scolded for not being fully engaged in the movie because I found the movie boring and wanted to Facebook.
Again I think the reaction to the shift in society behaviour based on technology is of a personal preference. Some people aren’t fond of it, others embrace, while some aren’t too concerned. Think about when the television became widely used in homes. I can only imagine there was a backlash and people were upset that the TV was limited the social engagement of families.
Technology brings social change. I’m still proud to be a ‘Convenience Zombie’ as the technology that causes it allows me to not only save time and spend it with those I love, but it also allows me to better communicate with loved ones that are far away. Sure there are times when I opt for the quick and easy (the ‘lifehack’), but I think those issues have always been there, they are just more prevalent now.
Chris, I think the vast majority of us have some preference for speed and convenience. I like the fact that the internet is so easy to access and move through these days, for example.
However, I think it’s worth considering when that becomes a life pattern. I have noticed that some people who always opt for the quick and easy, the “best” tech gadgets, and the rest do so at the expense of quality human relationships and their connection to the environment around them. In fact, while it might be true that time is saved, what people choose to do with that extra time with their family or close friends, for example, is often driven by the same things.
I’m thinking of scenes where couples and their older children are sitting in the same room, but are texting or calling other people. Or are sitting in the same room with headphones on, each listening to something different. Or everyone is on their computers. Or you have dinner being eaten around the TV without any conversation going on.
In my view, it matters more how we use our time in general, rather than how much we might save by doing X, Y, or Z.
Those are thoughtful questions to raise, Nathan. I smiled at your mention of ‘quick fix’ participants at yoga studios – I overheard a conversation between two young women at a running event recently. They clearly saw yoga as just stretching routines, which they wanted quickly and efficiently.
Regarding the online and mediated / electronic interaction, it will no doubt become more pervasive. Each of us can only hope to manage and be mindful of our own use of (or non-use of) online / social media. We need to take time to breathe, to observe, to be present in the natural world.
I guess I am a ‘Convenience Zombie.’
The other day I saw a television commercial and the slogan said something along the line of “because we know you hate talking to a machine.” I immediately said back to my television: ‘no I hate talking to people.’
Now I am not anti social in any way, nor do I have poor social skills, but for me I enjoy the instant access and gratification because what it does is allow me to choose whom I interact with or whom I spend my free time with. If these instant conveniences can spare a few minutes here and there and allow me to spend a few more minutes with my wife and child then I am all for it.
I am a ‘Convenience Zombie’
Hi Nathan,
Thanks for the added insight on this topic. I like the term “Convenience Zombie” and I don’t think individuals are the only ones entering such a state. On the federal level a lack of focus on preventative medicine is a good example. No one wants to spend money keeping the public healthy on a daily basis by promoting yoga and meditation, regular exercise, making healthy food affordable for all, or supporting alternative health models that focus on holistic care of the body and the mind. Instead our medical system is prone to heroic last minute action. Once you’re dramatically sick and on the verge of catastrophic health implications the doctors swoop in to do surgery, throw powerful drugs at you, or otherwise set things straight in invasive and extreme ways. While I’m glad that these heroic cures are available to those who need them, perhaps if we were all more willing to spend a bit of time, a bit of energy, and a bit of true focus on our health we wouldn’t need the heroic measures as often. This is an article all of its own, and perhaps I’ll write it one day! But I think you’re right–people are trained to want instant cures to their ills rather than journeying towards health slowly and with purpose and, perhaps, meeting other people along the way.