A writer learns that the leap of faith he took in attending his high-school reunion resulted in healing something from the growing-up years. For Part One, please click here.
San Juan Country Club, Farmington New Mexico, the 40th reunion of the Class of 1968 dinner and dance. Dinner had started winding down, and it looked like the band was about to play, so I could listen for a set and leave. During dinner I had been visiting with Betty, a woman I’d gone to junior high with. We had looked through several junior high and high school annuals she had brought with her. We had also looked through the Scholarly Scribbles literary magazine that our class had compiled in the 8th grade. I had discovered that a number of people still had their copies, and like me, thought of that junior high time very fondly.
Dancing at the “Club”
Bobby, the lead singer in the band that was about to play, had told me some of his memories. Our Civics teacher had called us a group of “pretentious pseudo-intellectuals.” We laughed over that, because that’s how we remembered that particular teacher – a pretentious pseudo-intellectual who was very self-impressed. But on the other hand, my friend Sandra, who had talked me into coming to this reunion, said that Mrs. Kerr, our 9th grade English teacher, had told her many years later that our class was one of the most vibrant, intelligent and enjoyable classes she ever taught. I just knew junior high had been an almost magical time for me, and the Scholarly Scribbles literary magazine seemed to capture the essence of that time.
Then Betty and her husband got up to leave – they had to attend his reunion in Aztec. So I was left at the table with two couples I didn’t know, who were talking among themselves. I saw an empty seat at a table next to the dance floor, so I moved over there, asking one of the women if I could sit there. It was Koni, who I had known a bit in junior high. She introduced her friend Maggie, who didn’t go to high school with us, but worked with Koni and Dennis, a local surgeon who was about to play guitar with the band. Maggie had come to support her friend and to see the surgeon play. She said she might want to dance some, but didn’t like country western music. She’d tried it once or twice, and didn’t find it fun.
As we sat listening to the band tune up, a woman walked up to me. She said she was at a table of women who were wondering who I was. “I’m Dan Hays. I went to Ladera Elementary, then Hermosa Junior High, and FHS – but my family moved away in the middle of my junior year.”
She smiled, nodded and said, “Good to know. I’m married, but it’s that table of single women over there who were wanting to know.”
The band started playing and I convinced Maggie to dance a slow song with me. She did, and we had a lot of fun easing around the dance floor. Then they played fast song, and we stayed out there for it. I love fast dancing, and gyrated easily around the floor, with a big grin on my face because I enjoyed it so much. I started to see people watching me from the sidelines – and did I mention I love that kind of attention? Several songs later I had spotted the table of women, and they were suddenly dancing around me and smiling at me. Later I went over and asked one of them to dance, and it turned out it was Ellen, someone I had known since junior high. It was one of those amazing experiences where you escort the woman to the floor and transition from walking to dancing seamlessly. It was enchanting.
Finally, I had to stop and rest for a minute – I was drinking glass after glass of water. Tom, the football star, was walking by, and I introduced myself. He was amazed, and knew exactly who I was. When I had gone back to Farmington in 1984, I had looked him up, and we talked about that visit. Several of his buddies had talked with me at the VFW event on Friday night, and I could see them watching me now, and other people as well. I could feel a lot of attention now focused on me, both because of the dancing, and now I had been visiting with the class popular guy. I loved the whole experience.
Later, as the dance wound down and I slow danced with the woman from junior high – I’d been alternating between dancing with her and Maggie for the past hour, I was once again astonished at how differently this reunion turned out than I had expected. I would look back later and realize that I had healed something from my growing up years, but at the moment, I was just aware that things felt good. During the next fast dance, Tom wanted to fist bump with me out on the dance floor, and while I mentally laughed at the gesture, it also felt good because of the acceptance it signaled.
The next day I headed back to Texas, aware that something special had just happened. I’d been checking my email because I was moving forward with self publication on my book. But, I was also waiting to hear from the literary agent who had wanted to read it. I had two strong directions in place for publication.
But what I really wanted to do was go home, pull out my copy of Scholarly Scribbles, and just read.
Photo Credits
Dancing at the “Club” © Dan Hays. All rights Reserved.
Scholarly Scribbles © Dan Hays. All rights Reserved.
Hello Dan,
I tripped across your story while searching for pictures of Hermosa Junior High. You see, we probably cross paths in the halls there. I too went to Ladera Elementary (6th grade only), Hemosa Junior High and 1 year at Farmington HS. I graduated in 1970, so 2 years behind you. I do genealogy research on my family and one of the things that I pushed too late, was to have my mother write about her life. Well, I’m not waiting and so I have been putting my story down on paper for my kids.
I too was the shy guy, picked on by the popular kids at Hermosa, even beat up after a basketball game just after getting off the bus once (not so popular kids). I played tennis in Jr. High and HS.
My parents divorced and we moved to Odessa Texas just after my sophomore year. I so wanted to be accepted by the popular kids in school, even noticed, but alas it wasn’t going to happen then. My best friend from my church, however, was one of the popular kids at Tibbetts Junior High. He introduced me to his friends there, cheerleaders, class leaders, sports players, etc. When we all finally met as sophomores a FHS, the ‘cool kids’, the popular ones all met up and became friends. Since I was friends with the Tibbetts kids, I was suddenly accepted by the group. My sophomore year was fantastic but that was soon to end.
My parents got a divorce and my mother moved us to Odessa Texas. Well, you know how big Farmington HS was when you were there, well I moved to a school of 4000! You can guess that that shyness all started over again. I was a completely unknown kid in that huge school. My Junior year was hell.
I decided during the summer before my senior year there, that my senior year would NOT be as bad as my junior year. I had to do something to step out of my shyness and meet people. I ran for class vice president! I was running against the 2 most popular girls in the school, one of them had to drop out because she won ‘Miss Teenage America’ that year! Obviously I was in way over my head…but it worked! I made lots of friends that year and it was just as much fun as my sophomore year in Farmington.
I have not been back to any HS reunions whether in Farmington or Odessa. Truthfully haven’t heard of any for my class of 1970 in Farmington but had to miss out last summer in Odessa due to a planned vacation with my family.
So I understand what you went through. I probably shared some of the same pains.
So hope all your healing has taken place, I know mine has. Farmington was a fun place to live at that time in my life and I look back at it fondly.
Hi Michael,
Thanks for stopping by to share memories! I just looked you up in my ’65 Hermosa annual, and you sure look familiar! Interesting how many memories we have in common. Was Mr. Winter still at Ladera when you were there? He was my 6th grade teacher, and I remember him fondly. As you can tell from the article, I had a magical experience at Hermosa, which continued on into FHS. The reason I was at this reunion was I had realized how painful it was to be pulled away from Farmington in the middle of my junior year. Those were the people I had bonded with, and who I wanted to reconnect with.
When we moved in my junior year, I ended up in Fort Worth at a high school of 3,000, so I do understand your experience in the transition to Odessa. If it was Permian, what a hotbed of “established” friendships. I think it’s great that you stepped out in that almost overwhelming environment and broke out of your shyness. Sounds like it worked wonderfully for you! I had a sort of similar experience in Fort Worth, being elected president of our youth group at church, after only being there a short time. I still go to lunch with one of the buddies I made in Fort Worth, so it all turned out great!
Interesting that you had such a connection to the Tibbetts kids. I remember when we were at Hermosa, Tibbetts had a rough reputation, and we sort of thought of them as the “tough side of town” people. I never did know any of them, but like you, when I got to FHS, I found them to be a really nice group of people, and got along with them very nicely.
Sorry you had those rough experiences with bullying at Hermosa. When I was on the dance floor with that woman at the reunion, she asked if that had happened to me. I told her it hadn’t, and in that moment realized it was because Tom, the football star, sort of looked out for me. Since I was so small, I just had the feeling if anyone had picked on me, Tom would have intervened. It was nice to reflect back on that. I have talked to several people who got bullied, and it wasn’t pleasant.
Interestingly, as I realized in the article, just dancing at that reunion was a very healing experience, given that I never went to high school dances. I didn’t realize that until a bit later, but I felt a nice sense of closure. I had visited Farmington often, since that time was such a formative period for me, and always had the sense I was looking for something, or trying to reclaim something. Since the reunion, that drive seems to have fallen by the wayside. I’d like to go to Farmington again, just because it’s a beautiful area with much to offer, but not in the searching way any more!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It’s always illuminating to see how the school days affected others, and what they took away from it!
Dan
What an amazing story of reconnecting with your classmates and noticing how much you have healed and moved forward. Sometimes life is much better than our expectations.
Thank you Patricia! Yes, this was an amazing experience, and a real benchmark of my healing process! 🙂
Glad you liked this part of the story, Susan. This reunion was a bigger part of my healing jurney than I thought at first. I like that it’s spurring you to think about your own story! 🙂
This showed up in my email while I was taking a break from things and I’m sure enjoying following your story Dan. Causes me to think about my own in a broader sense than I have mist if the time. I’m glad you’re finding healing along the way. SusanKs 🙂