It’s a great time to be a Canadian. The red and white pride can practically be seen on the faces of everyone in my home town, even though we’re nowhere near Whistler.
And for many parents, it’s a great time for dreaming. The commercials between Olympics coverage showcase adorable young kids as our future Olympians, while a parent loyally cheers from the sidelines. Everything, from cameras and cereals to cars and credit cards, is finding a way to zero-in on that parental instinct to raise the next ‘Great One.’
A case in point: We see a mother waking to a 5 am alarm, driving her child in the dark to hockey practice, video-taping her child’s every minute and then shaking with pride when her child performs well.
My husband and I take in this commercial, then look at each blandly and agree, “Our kids don’t stand a chance at the Olympics, do they?”
I know, it sounds harsh. And lazy.
But the truth is, these athletes we watch today have been training intensely since they were children. And my kids? They’re not enrolled in a single organized activity. The odds are definitely not in their favour.
Let’s face it, if you make to the Olympics, chances are it’s because your parents dreamt it first.
Don’t get me wrong. I’d be just as proud as the next parent if my child turned out to be an Olympic athlete — slacker parents be damned. But how many of those kids at that 5 am practice actually make it to the Olympics? Maybe one. And maybe that one child is the only one who will look back fondly on those long, dark morning drives.
I fear it’s a quick hop, skip and a jump to go from a ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ parent to a ‘Future Olympian’ parent. And from where I sit on this couch, the risks look greater than the promise of a reward.
What do you think? Do I underestimate the value of training and competition in a child’s life? Or perhaps I am just jaded because I am hopelessly un-athletic and my genes are of no value whatsoever to my children? Will I be cheering on your child at the 2014 Olympics?
Photo Credit
“Hockey” dmjarvey @ flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some rights reserved.
Feature photo, No known copyright restrictions Library of Congress
Doing anything in your leisure time should be because of the love of it. I can understand the obsessivness of doing something untill it is perfected. But thats just me.
Jon Montgomery looks like he’s having a pretty fun life.
Kidding aside, I think once the training gets intense parents hopefully back off and let the child decide. I admire that drive and determination. I see so many kids without any. I think as kids become teens they need a focus. While hanging out friends is important too I see far too many teens with nothing to do except get pregnant and get into other trouble. As long as the parent knows when to back off I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the determination that these athletes have.
as one of those kids who woke up every saturday to go to a 5am hockey practice, i have to disagree. my parents encouraged us to be involved in some sort of extra-curricular activity, whether it be a sport or musical instrument. as for me, i asked my dad to play hockey and at a time when not many girls played the sport, he encouraged me to do so. i am so happy he did because being part of a team gives you so much, including the hopes of doing something more with the sport, like being an olympian. there are so many life lessons and friendships made… and even if you don’t make it to the olympics, sports can help people pay for their education or just show how to have fun while being physically active. i never made it to the olympics for hockey, but i did play it for my 4 years in university. i feel so lucky and blessed that my parents pushed me to do extra-curricular activities because i have the best memories and friends from it!
Hi Megs – Thanks for adding in this perspective. Clearly competitive sports has been a very positive experience for you, and I’m sure it is for many kids. This was intended as a more flippant post that speaks to the over-zealous parent that many of us parents secretly fear we have the potential to become. Finding the right balance it the key, but like everything with balance, it can be tricky. Although I never played a team sport, I have heard of “hockey parents” who are overzealous (yelling at refs, their kids, etc) because they are so over-invested in their child’s activity. And I can attest from personal childhood experience that there are definitely “dance parents” who do the same. In fact, at the time, I did harbour some envy towards those girls in dance class who had “dance parents” (mine weren’t) because a certain amount of parental focus just on you is always nice. — Julie
I totally agree Meg. There are vital life long lessons to be learnt from playing/competing in sporting activities, whether individual or team. Some of the most important ones transfer over into a persons working life (perserverance, fair play) making these ‘participators’ the most valuable members of any workforce.
One thing worries me though, Meg, your lack of enthusiasm (sic) towards capital letters! LOL
I was thinking about what it must be like to parent an Olympian this week, too. What I was thinking about, though, was how awful it must be to watch your child come within spitting distance of their dream — and then flame out. All those hours, all that hope, all that anxiety, and it all slips away because of one bad turn or a bad millisecond. Ugh. Makes me glad that athleticism doesn’t run in our family!
I hear you. I can’t even handle seeing my child face the smallest little disappointment, like not getting an invite to a birthday party or something — how would I ever handle something as big as the Olympics?
I agree, to a certain extent, but the part of your post that is sticking with me the most is the ‘parents dream the Olympic dream’ first assertion. I was watching Skeleton yesterday, and I refuse to believe that any parent pushes their kid into Skeleton because they have Olympic dreams. Skeleton is friggin dangerous, as is luge, bobsleigh and others.
I agree, Skeleton is the craziest thing I have EVER seen. Point taken!
As the mother of three children the question of how to “schedule” their lives is something we grapple with. Despite the fears of others around us because we weren’t starting them “early” enough at something – they have had a taste of different activities (and if they had expressed a true interest in something we would have continued) and I feel like their childhoods are intact. I am grateful (selfishly) that they didn’t turn out to have Olympic dreams. I’d rather pour myself into preparing them for college.
I dated a guy whose close friend was an Olympian and world class athlete. Let me tell you his life looked pretty fun from my perspective. Of course there was hard training and dedication but he was very social, had many friends – liked to party and partied a lot! His parents were lovely…supportive and proud but not the scary overbearing stuff you occasionally see/hear. I remember he almost died in a horrific sport related accident, fully recovered and continued competing for years after…that is how much he loved it. I think most Olympians are there because they have a true passion for the sport – not too many athletes can succeed to that level purely by crazy parental pressure.
Well, the snowboarders do look like they know how to party! 😉
I don’t think children should be pushed into pursuing anything with the level of intensity required to one day qualify to go to the Olympics. If the child is passionate about their sport, wonderful, and if they’re willing to make the kind of commitment and sacrifice required for an amateur sports career, I’m all for it. I do think, however, that some kids would benefit from a gentle nudge to try different sports. I say this as someone who once viewed phys ed as punishment, and would have done anything to avoid most kinds of sports. It’s only in adulthood that I’ve learned to give myself the psychological space to attempt any sports. I put off trying so many sports because I either thought that I couldn’t do it, or that I didn’t start early enough in life. I deprived myself of the opportunity to try things that I may have one day grown to love. Now I find myself volunteering at junior high wrestling tournaments, cheering on the girls who have the courage and the passion to do something I never even considered at that age, and it’s awesome.
(And before anyone asks, I’m definitely not ever letting my age get in the way of trying something new ever again.)
I agree with the other comments. I just don’t think it’s a healthy lifestyle for children to be working at just one thing for so many hours. I think it takes too big a toll on their little bodies, not to mention their minds. When there is no time for a sleepover or playing with friends, they are losing out on an awful lot.
I even find the demands on kids who play recreational hockey to be too much (for the children AND parents). I am very happy not to be getting up at 5am for morning hockey practices.
I agree with Chiarina. I don’t think the level of obsession required to become the best at anything is entirely healthy. The physical toll all the practicing and competing takes on these young people alone is just not worth it in my books. When they’re recounting the athletes’ achievements there isn’t one who doesn’t have a collection of serious injuries behind them. Add to this having to give up most of their childhood (no late nights, no sleepovers, no Saturday afternoon movies, no vacations, etc., etc) — it’s horrible. A co-workers daughter may very well make the next Olympics so we hear all about her rigorous routine. The girl is up at 4:00 am every morning; all her evenings, weekends, vacations are devoted to her sport. She goes to school, does some homework and trains. That’s her life. She can’t have a job like other teens her age, their holidays are scheduled around out of town competitions and she’s spent more time at Emergency in her short life than most people do in a lifetime. Her parents are rabidly excited and driven in their desire to support and promote their daughter. I find it all a bit creepy
Few of those 5am practise kids make it to the Olympics but I like to think the ones that do, do so because the drive comes from within. Parents can only push so much and hopefully they realize they need to allow their children to dream their own dreams. Personally, I was secretly thrilled when my son decided to quit soccer. My Saturdays were finally my own again!
I enjoy watching the Olympics, in moderation, simply to watch the extraordinary athleticism. I don’t care at all who wins for what country. But I do understand the thrill of competition, again in moderation. I wonder what it does to your psyche when it becomes your entire life though.