On a recent trip to Saguenay Lac-Saint-Jean, Quebec, there were a number of things that stood out in my mind as stupid, ridiculous or just plain nonsensical. But perhaps I was just bitter about my trip ending.
#1: Pre-boarding for people traveling with infants
Before flying with children, I considered this simply a common sign of courtesy to allow people to board in advance with small children. Now, as a parent, I consider it the height of stupidity. I’ve done many a flight with my children, and trust me, the last thing I need is to have my children and I wait in a cramped space while everyone else gets on and gets seated. What I really need is to be able to let my toddler run as much energy off as possible in the gate waiting area while everyone else gets on. I vote for putting us folks with kids on the plane last – not first!
#2: Standing in line to board the plane
Have you noticed how as soon as the boarding call is made, everyone jumps to their feet and stands in line with their boarding passes in front of them. Holy sheep! Uh, hello …the seats are already pre-assigned … what is the advantage of standing in line like this? Nothing as far as I can tell. I wait until everyone has boarded, the line filters down to one or two and then I stroll up.
#3: “We are pleased to provide you with a non-smoking environment”
Do we still need to hear this message while we’re waiting for takeoff? The only time in my lifetime when smoking has been allowed on a plane was when I flew in Indonesia in 1994. And it’s debatable whether the plane was even allowed to fly, let alone if people should be allowed to smoke in it. I mean, seriously, is there an indoors environment left anywhere where one can smoke? When even the old folks at the nursing home have to stand outside in -30 degree winter weather, it would seem not. I think the only thing this announcement achieves is to make the poor smoker on the plane just that extra bit twitchy.
#4: Show me how to use the seat belt
Come on, people! Do you really need to show me how to buckle up a seat belt? Is there really someone on the planet who can’t buckle their seat belt? This part I do know. As for where I actually find the life jackets and how I can be sure that air mask will actually fall down in an emergency – that’s a whole other story.
#5: The seating arrangement at the emergency exit door
Generally speaking, the air attendants check to make sure the person who will be responsible for opening the emergency exit so we can all plunge into the deep dark ocean, is at least sober. But perhaps the requirements need to be a little more stringent. For instance, on my last flight home, an elderly couple was sitting in that seat. And, in direct contradiction to my point #4 above, they could not get their seat belts done up! After the air attendant helped them do their seat belts, she ran through the instructions for the emergency exit door and asked them if they were comfortable being in that spot. There was a gaping silence. Then she said cheerily, “Okay, then, good!” And. Walked. Away. For some reason, I did not feel especially safe that flight.
Photo Credit
“Airplane Cartoon” Public Domain
I calculated recently that I flew 56 times. Never seen a plane where you could smoke, even in foreign countries. As a smoker, I don’t mind the announcement (I really can go a few hours without a smoke!) but I always wonder if they are ever going to stop saying it.
I’m with Sarah for people who stand as soon as the plane lands. Where do you think you are going, really??
Okay, THOSE people who stand up right away are my new #6! 😉
Re #5 – I’m a tall guy, so I like the extra legroom that exit row seating provides. But I find that prior to Air Canada favouring Elites and Super Elites for exit row seating, I was constantly thwarted by people who were inappropriate for seating there. I’ve seen people sitting there who were unilingual Russian, Hmong, or Klingon…
John: You have my vote for the emergency exit! In fact, I vote for only the big tall guys who speak English and Klingon to always get the emergency exit doors! It could increase our chances of survival by what … maybe 0.00000000%!
and don’t forget the people who JUMP UP the second the plane lands and try to be the first ones off! that drives me nuts!!! and then you see those people at the luggage pick up and you really want to say : ” Areally! was it worth it?”
as for pre-boarding with children………. never! i want to get on when the engine has already started!
Sarah
Hi Sarah: Oh, yes! How could I foget to list THOSE people in my rant! We’re all anxious to get off the plane folks, but you don’t need to trample me in the process – LOL.
I do remember smoking on planes – the “non-smoking” section was in the back of the plane, the last 4 or so rows before the lavatories. And of course, it got really smoky anyhow. Thanks recirc air! So glad that we are out of that now!
And I completely agree with you on pre-boarding with kids. We wait until the end. The *only* advantage that I can see with boarding early (and lining up to get on the plane first) is then you get the overhead compartment storage. These days, with so many travellers taking carry-ons and not checking luggage, I think airplane cabins need to be redesigned so that everyone can put a carry-on in an overhead compartment. Right now, I’d guess maybe 1/3 of the passengers have that luxury. So that’s probably why people line up.
Aw, that really was sweet to let the non-smokers sit at the back and inhale the downdraft as well as the toilets 😉 I think you’ve got a point on the overhead luggage, actually. Thanks for dropping in Lisa!
I know that I am older than you, but you don’t remember when people smoked on planes? There were smoking sections, when I used to travel with my Mom to Ireland (she’s a smoker). Gah. Horrendous to think of it now.
Funny about the seatbelts and emergency exit. I’m so glad it was an uneventful flight!
@finola: Wow, maybe I was just oblivious, then? Because I’ve been on airplanes my whole life (military kid). So strange to think it about it now. HUGE societal change in a relatively short period of time!