Girl Meets Canada: Meh-nitoba

The ongoing story of a girl and her van on an epic journey across Canada.

Day 38 (Wed, June 16th)

Okay, that title isn’t fair. Manitoba isn’t all meh. But I thought it was funny, so I’m using it.

I don’t know what I was expecting from Manitoba. I’ve always felt a fondness for the province, even though I’d only been to it once (yes, on that same road trip that found me bar-wenching in Regina), and I drove straight across it. I do remember getting lost in a parking lot and ending up heading back west down the Trans-Canada, but let’s not talk about that, mm-kay?

In grade 5 we had to do a report on a Country and a province for Mr. Burns. My country was Belgium (where my mom is from) and my province was Manitoba, for no other reason than I liked the name. Manitoba. It’s a pleasant word.

And I suppose it’s a pleasant province.

If you like being eaten to death by mosquitoes.

My first stop was Ste Rose du Lac, a tiny town off the #5. There was a campsite right off the highway that was totally deserted. It was a smokin’ hot day and I’d been baking in my van for most of it, so I thought a beer would be a great idea.

I think Ste Rose du Lac is a dry community. There were no liquor stores in town, and the place I went for dinner didn’t serve alcohol. How can you survive in a tiny prairie town, in the SUMMER, without beer? Side note: that same restaurant served fried chicken and beans, and they asked if I wanted my beans heated. I only eat beans cold if they’re directly out of the can, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Back at the campsite I started a fire and was immediately joined by ten million of my closest buggy friends. It was only around 7:30pm, but they were everywhere. And they were hungry. Normally a little smoke from a fire will keep them at bay, but these ones had obviously mutated to withstand smoke, and were all the heartier for it. I withdrew to my van, where I sat for two hours and watched in horror as they mounted their attack from the outside. I could see them gathering forces at my windows. I fully expected them to form into the shape of a fist and bash their way in. Or build a fake can of beer out of firewood and leave it at my door, a la the Trojans and that blasted horse of trickery.

Already there were a few dozen that had made it inside and were feasting on me shamelessly. They’d cling to my curtains and (ironically) my bug screens, turning into little blood bombs when I squatted them, exploding their intestines and my plasma all over the place.

So, yeah. Ste. Rose du Lac is not on my list of best places in the world.

I was able to numb the pain with a little drink I like to call Screw You. It’s random amounts of warm Tequila, club soda and orange juice sloshed in a tin cup last used to eat yogurt out of, with no ice. And yes, this is my drink for Manitoba. Bottoms up!

Day 39 (Thurs, June 17th)

In my (granted, very limited) experience, Manitoba weather is a two trick pony. Scorching, centre-of-the-sun heat, or monsoon. Today was a monsoon day.

I don’t like either one.

After driving through hours and hours of flat, I finally came to Gimli. Gimli Gimli Gimli. How I love that word! And now, that town!

It’s a pretty cute little holiday destination right on Lake Winnipeg. The Chinese lunch buffet is questionable, but they have a great German Kaffee Haus, and a large statue of a viking (I’m assuming Gimli himself). Best of all, the waterfront and marina sort of reminded me of home.

Day 40 (Fri, June 18th)

I was really looking forward to Winnipeg. I’d heard it was a great city with a cool arty scene. I bet that’s true. I just couldn’t see it through all THE RAIN. Apparently, Manitobite’s are so proud of Lake Winnipeg, they like to reproduce it all the time. On their roads. I swear that city doesn’t have one sewer drain on the streets. If the entire underbelly of my van rusts through and falls off, I’m blaming Winnipeg. You heard me! Be afraid!

Despite all the rain, Winnipeg still was a good time. I got to really test drive that rain coat I bought in Portland last November! Remember? A really good, really expensive one from Eddie Bauer. So I’m walking around, saying Screw you, rain! And all of a sudden my right arm is soaked. I look down, and the shoulder seam has just sort of peeled away, like mud that dries really quickly in the sun and gets all crackly. Like a bad sunburn.

Crap.

I also met up with a friend of a friend, Maria. Maria not only gave me a place to stay (the night before I was sure the wind was going to send my van a-rollin’, like dice on a craps table), but she dragged me to an Eddie Bauer to discuss this recent development. And the very lovely sales lady took my old jacket and handed me a new one, no questions asked. How’s that for great service?

Day 41 (Sat, June 19th)

This morning I got a glimpse of what Winnipeg looks like when it’s not raining. And I have to tell you, I like what I saw. There are some great little neighbourhoods, and an insane amount of trees. Maria told me that the parks department has an entire section dedicated to caring for the trees, and that it employs about 4000 people.

I do love trees. Winnipeg, you’ve made the list of potential future homes!

Photo Credits

All photos by Sarah Gignac

Manitoba Border

Gimli’s Viking

Maria’s View

This article was first published on Raggedy Threads in June 2010.